| RealSNR |
11-12-2014 11:00 PM |
20. tk13
tk13 is the 2nd worst thing to ever happen to this forum. The first is Deberg.
I'm not sure why I signed off when PGM put him on the list in the first place. Think about whom I could be roasting right now instead of tk13.
Daru. I could be roasting Daru. That would be hella fun.
mylonsd? You bet. Don't think I've run out of middle-aged old and boring midwesterner jokes yet. There are plenty more of those. Trust me.
Taco John. Good **** people, I could be roasting Taco John right now. Do you know how much material that guy has? Endless amounts. He's responsible for so many of CP's colloquialisms and literary memes; he's the Bill Shakespeare of Chiefs Planet! Christ, the man invented the "I'm leaving forever thread!" Imagine how hard it would be to **** up a Taco John roast! It's impossible. tk13 could probably write a decent Taco John roast. That's how easy it would be.
I can't remember a damn funny thing tk13 has ever posted. Hell, I can barely remember anything he's posted at all. Once upon a time I mentioned that I like Gordon Lightfoot, and so he would occasionally post The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in response to something I said. No, I don't know why. Maybe he thought it was funny, or maybe he was flirting with me. I don't care, really. That's the only thing I remember him posting.
Here's another Taco John word of the day for you all: burst. As in tk13 has none. He didn't lose it, though, and that's because he never had any to begin with. No legendary feuds. No awesome photoshops, material, manifestos, or a ****ing MS Paint drawing. No football or sports takes he's forever known for. Nobody can name anything he likes or dislikes. He's not a true fan, and he's not a drafturbator. He's always just chilling out in the background posting the most gripping shit you ever ****ing read like, "It's only Week 4. The Chiefs aren't out of the playoff hunt yet." He doesn't even post in the DC forum. He doesn't even have a personality. He's just barely halfway pleasant all the time. Never angry, happy, excited, scared, horny, insane, drunk, or stoned. His username is boring as ****-- just two letters and a two-digit number. Yeah, I know what you're saying, "Look who's talking, guy with three letters." Do you know how many times people have tried to figure out what SNR stands for? Have you EVER wondered what the deal was with tk13's name? And if you did, how long did it take you to shrug your shoulders and forget that you cared?
The man hasn't ever had an avatar. Not once in 13 years. That's how ****ing unremarkable his 35,000+ posts have been on CP.
I know I already used boring smaque on Cochise, but I would have saved my semen if I knew that tk13 was going to be on board.
I'll tell you what. Let's add some burst right now. You know that international society that will pay you a gajillion dollars if you prove one of these seven math proofs? We'll do that here. You guys go find some ACTUAL dirt that I could be roasting tk13 on right now besides the fact that there is none, and I'll write a roast about anybody on this forum. You pick. Your worst enemy, your best friend, or the weirdest ****er you can think of. It will be a special project that you commissioned by solving the unsolveable-- finding a legitimate long-lasting contribution that tk13 has made to ANY living breathing asshole in this cesspool of a forum.
Go.
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