| Saul Good |
06-16-2013 01:16 PM |
80. Braincase
Braincase loves to talk about how he knows all of the movers and shakers in the KU athletics department. He's always dropping tidbits of "inside information" that inevitably turn out to be wrong. I'm pretty sure the closest he's ever gotten to the Kansas athletics program is when he outbid frazod to win Mark Mangino's custom built toilet. It was a great moment for Braincase who has turned it into a shrine, but it sucked for frazod. He hates KU but was desperately in need of a toilet that could support his big fat ass while receiving the massive meat-logs he delivers. Fortunately, they were able to work out an arrangement wherein frazod can take his hippo dumps on the toilet while Braincase gives him blumpkins and imagines that frazod is actually coach Mangino.
While he may not be an insider with KU hoops, he was an assistant to the coach of an eighth grade girls basketball team...until he cracked under the pressure and got ejected from a game. (I'm not even joking. He made a thread about it that's absolutely hysterical...look it up.)
He has started over 500 threads in total, and that is the only one that doesn't suck. You'd think he would accidentally post an interesting topic every now and again, but he hasn't. Recent threads include such riveting topics as the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, licking a man's ass, and a princess Diana joke right at the height of its relevancy in 2011. At some point, he thought to himself, "CP is going to ****ing love this princess Diana joke...I can't wait to start a thread about it". We need more posters like him.
Pros: Was told that it's not butter, accepted it, and moved on...if he was in disbelief, he didn't show it. Beats the shit out of his kids. That wouldn't normally be considered a positive, but his kids are ugly and, as such, deserve every ass-whipping they get.
Cons: Wears pleated jeans. Drinks Taster's Choice coffee because he wants to celebrate the moments of his life.
Outlook for 2014: Dies when his skull is crushed under frazod's fupa. At his funeral, people will take solace in knowing that he died doing what he loved.
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