Hey Jagoffs,

Theres a football conversation going on a couple of other threads. Why dont you guys come on over and show your NFL intellect? Or would you rather stay here and talk about your positions on my "all idiot team"

Dont answer that, I think I know the what the answer is.

it chimes in.........

sounds like someone is tired of 'jagging'-off by himself.

Mark M,

You forgot me :(

I'm the official media guide person.
CAN'T have a decent team without one.



------------------
Misplaced Chiefs Fan
Red and Gold on the Warpath
Nightwolf Graphics

pack,

your mother hasn't paid us to play with you this week.

Misplaced--
The roster has been adjusted (see post #238). Sorry 'bout that. This is hard to do at work.

Bwana, leave the little girls, Italian suits and clean teeth alone and cuss out some draft picks, would ya?!

MM
~~Will be back in an hour . . . has something to do here . . . FINALLY!

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

I'll take a DB slot if ya got one. That way, if I get an INT for a TD I can bust some moves in the endzone ala John Travolta.

Hey, I'm taller than Mighty Mouth and I'm not afraid of the bump-n-run either.

I also have a keen understanding of the fact that if the ball is tipped, I can drill whoever I want on the field - no penalty (of course it would be someone on the opposition...er...Ken).

"Stayin' alive, stayin' alive, ah ah ah ah, stayin' aliiiive..."

Didn't the replacements dance to "I will survive?"

This should be up your alley, Disco. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/wink.gif

DJ: Done deal!

It looks like we about have a complete team here. Do we have any opponents lined up yet?

Forget the "bob-n-weave"!
Anyone else imagine Warner with a bob haircut and the other two guys (Faulk and Bruce or whoever) with weaves whenever they show their pictures and call them the "bob-n-weave" guys.


Maybe we can do the "hustle".

Thanks for the idea MCF...

I haven't seen the movie yet, but looks like it would suit me. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

Okay, one more time and then I have to get some work done. I'll post this and check back in about an hour. If anyone wants to cut and paste to make updates, please feel free.

Updated roster (Bwana is busy giving our coach a vote of confidence):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
Offense:
QB: Mark M
FB: Bob Dole
HB: Luz
WR: KPhobia, JOhn, ????
OT: Titus, Wolfman
OG: Russ, ????
C/Creator of Wood: Cameron Diaz
TE: Mark Kilgore, ????
PK: Dartgod
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd
MLB: Chief Priority
DT: The Fly, ????
DE: gaz (since he hasn't chimed in yet, thought I'd give him a spot), ?????
RCB: htismaque
LCB: Disco Jones
SS: WisChief
FS: Iowanian
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (and yes, you can line up under center.)
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm
Cheerleader: dawsonpa
PR Man: RCG Chief
Masseuse: Smltheppl
Legal counsel: AZ Chief
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan
Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh
Worthless moron: Packfan

Only five more slots to fill!

MM
~~Will check later . . . needs to earn some pay.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

Any oponents? Maybe Ken can put together his "all knowing" team. Us idiots against the know it alls. Go for it Ken - show us your other team.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We haven't taken care of the most important matters yet!

- What are our team colors?
- What is our helmet design?
- Do we hafta wear red pants? (eck)
- What is our mascot?
- Team song?
- Where do we play? (LA is open)
- Cheerleaders uniforms!

And last, but not least, can we get Burt Reynolds to throw out the first ball?<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR> Do we hafta wear red pants? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
I vote that at least Cameron gets to wear her 'underoos.'

Clearly, our mascot should be Cow Patty.

And the team song should be Jim Stafford's "Cow Patty."

Therefore, our uniforms should be all brown.

FLY: I will take on the responsibility of acquiring the cheerleaders attire. They will be so skimpy that even if our team is getting their butts handed to them, the fans won't notice and we will be able to keep the seats full.

If you use my suggestion and get the girls from that ranch of 1million$ near Warrensburg, MO...They already come with their own "uniforms"....which would be low maintinence...and we wouldn't have to pay them....they'll earn Tips, while also serving as beer vendors..

Iowanian: Not a bad idea. Anything so save a few extra bucks so I can keep up on the latest fashion with those suits walking the sidelines.

Did you get my Santa jokes?

bwana, yes I did....very nice.

I'm voting for 3D real tree Camoflage for team colors...the other team won't see you us coming, and I can use it on my days off..

Iowanian - I think those Warrensburg 'vendors' can only vend juice, at $10 a glass.

or so I've heard.

jc,

can't you bring your own "coola"?

I heard that you could.

May-be. In all actuality, its been nearly 8 years since I 'heard about' what goes on there. Livin' in St. Louie tends to send one 'east' rather than west.

WisChief-

Good point.

Allow me to present Packfan's "All Knowing Team"

1. Packfan
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.

xoxo~
gaz
trying to find someone who wants to associate with this team.<BR>

gaz, if i may contibute

1.packfan
2.broncofan
3.secret agent mike keck
4.holy moly, how could I forget...515

[This message has been edited by Iowanian (edited 12-19-2000).]

Iowanian - re;#4 - that's your INTERPRETATION of which team I'd be on.

I'll go ahead and appoint myself league commissioner.

Add:
5. OVER HEAD
6. Hawaiian Boy (or however he spells it).
7. Denise from the "other" BB (or is that the 515 reference?)

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

Clint--
Sorry . Packfan has that position.

Perhaps you could be like Gene Washington and hand out fines?

We still need another DT. Can you jump offsides every other play?

MM
~~Trying to find Clint a place.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

jc,

#4, "I" ???????

not "I" I, "she" I. Sosolly, supposed to be a quote.

Scoreboard Operator: Al Gore
Controversial Play Review Judge: Katherine Harris
Usher: George Bush
Owner's Domineering Girlfriend: Hillary Clinton
Line Judge: William Daley
Field Judge: Jeb Bush


Florida would be the appropriate location for the team. Perhaps Palm Beach?



[This message has been edited by TheFly (edited 12-19-2000).]

Shouldn't Whitlock be on the All-Knowing" Team? He could be the D-line http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif

BroncoFan
· No, he is OUT OF HERE, remember?
Secret Agent Mike Keck
· Yes. He would probably have an orgasm if someone called him "All Knowing." He would fit right in.
OVERHEAD
· Yes. He may lack the football knowledge of Mike Keck, but he does have the obnoxious part down pat.
jq
· No. He may be a misguided Raider's fan, but he participated in some very good football discussions.


xoxo~
gaz
cutting the roster.<BR>

gaz--
Are jq and Hawaii Boy the same? You are correct...he's all good. I guess I'm thinking of some other Raider fan (but not UD...he's okay too).

Fly--
Great choices! Can't get any arguments from me. But throw in Nader as the guy who drives the little go-kart around...of course, with his seatbelt on.

MM
~~Thinks things are finally coming together.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

Remember Madstork? He'd fit right in on Packfans team.

I have a couple of candidates for the 'all knowing' team.

First, the guy who posted his psych profile, Steve Beebe, I think. He would fit in nicely with ol' Ken.

Second, Mike Peterson agent on the ol' BB, I dont remember his name, but I do remember his posting about Mike Peterson on a daily basis before the draft in 1999.

Heather Hawke should be on the "all-knowing" team. If any of you noticed, she was on the other board for a couple of weeks talking about how much better StL was compared to KC and she was relentless with her "the Rams are the greatest team ever" and "Kurt Warner is the most amazing sports story ever" threads. She might be looking for something to do since the Rams will likely miss the playoffs this year (kind of a disappointment for the greatest team ever, eh).

I elect RaiderCorporate for the all-knowing team.

Don't be bagging on jq. He may be a Raider fan, but he's a pretty decent guy and a heck of a smack-flinger.

Bob Dole--
I have ammended my ideas to remove jq. I had him confused with someone else.

I will be leaving now. I'll be back around 6 or so to update the roster (coryt is looking for a position and H_C wants to be added to the backfield.)

The wife and I need to get all of the crap out of what is left of her car. When I get home, I'll get to work.

MM
~~Has things to do and places to see.

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

Bronco chic is missing.

I elect RaiderCorporate for the all-knowing team.

Okay, before I leave . . .

Updated roster (Bwana is busy looking for an ex San-Fran QB to be the backup):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana
Coach: Denzel and/or Gene Hackman
Offense:
QB: Mark M (and yes, I have won a playoff game)
FB: Bob Dole
HB: Luz
HB: H_C
WR: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt
OT: Titus, Wolfman
OG: Russ, ????
Center/The reason for my inevitable divorce: Cameron Diaz
TE: Mark Kilgore, ????
PK: Dartgod
Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd (just catch the damn ball, would ya?)
MLB: Chief Priority
DT: The Fly, ????
DE: gaz (since he hasn't chimed in yet, thought I'd give him a spot), ?????
RCB: htismaque
LCB: Disco Jones
SS: WisChief
FS: Iowanian
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (and yes, you can line up under center.)
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm
Cheerleader: dawsonpa
PR Man: RCG Chief
Masseuse: Smltheppl
Legal counsel: AZ Chief
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan
Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh
Total dumbshit: Packfan

Still looking for anther DE, DT, TE, OLB, OG (coryt has been put in as WR temporarily).

MM
~~Leaving until this evening (type y'all around 6ish).

------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

'all knowing' team'

Don't forget our buddy LEE JACKSON from the other board. The Bronco fan from hell, perhaps we can work "Clark Kent" AKA Bronco fan Vance in there as well?

I aggree that hawaii doesn't belong on that list...the guy knows quite abit about football....raider corp is a shoe-in...don't know how I could have overlooked that pulitzer prize winner.

Since I am a little leary about the warrensburg ranch thing, can I amend my position to Tight End?????????????????

If not, then I wish to be known as the Head Cheerleader.

seperate from the rest.

Pam,
IS it? :D

Susan Summers sell you a bun-o-steel?

Maybe you could apply for backup center?

Uniforms will be the "classiest pasties" i can find...

I did play DE when I was 13. Of course 5-11 135 is pretty good for 13. 5-11 180 now might be a bit small. I guess You could call me scrappy and all those other words that really mean slow white guy though.

It is ;)

and I ain't no back up for anyone :D I think I like the Tight End position. I also "have good hands" http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Anyone playing Tight End must be wearing a really skimpy uniform with padding in just the right places!<BR>

Do we get to pick #s yet?

I would like to request #69 if possible.

If not, my next preferences are:

pi (the symbol - can't find it on the keyboard)

e (natural exponent = 2.718)

c (speed of light constant = 3.0 x10^8 m/s)

N-sub-a (Avagadro's Number = 6.02 x 10^23)


If these are already taken I can come up with some more.<BR>

If we're picking numbers I'll take 44! That't the number of my trash route! :D

not really a sanitation worker, but sure having fun pretending to be

I notice you need anothe DT...I can play the position...I can jump offsides with the best of them...and besides, after years of nutrition...I can really fill a hole... :D

------------------
joe

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

Hello all!

I suddenly realized that this thread is taking up entirely too much of my time. :eek:

Updated roster (Bwana is busy finding out why Elvis has never won a playoff game so I do not suffer the same fate):

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan
GM: Bwana (as if he does anything but "enhance" the look of the sidelines.) :D
Coach: Denzel Washington (unless someone opposes this selection.)
Offense:
QB: Mark M (Has won a playoff game)
FB: Bob Dole (Now known as the Fullback Bob Dole).
HB: Luz (averages 4 ypc...for his three carries a game).
HB: H_C (Will bust off a 60 yard and then ride the bench...Greg Hill Jr.).
WR: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt (Three Amigoes)
OT: Titus; Wolfman (The Bookend Borthers...you have my back, Titus).
OG: Russ, TBD (Any takers for the other spot?)
Center/Hair gel conniseur: Cameron Diaz
TE: Mark Kilgore (he asked for it); dawsonpa (can we still smack you on the butt Pam?)
PK: Dartgod ("He's got leeeegggss . . . ")

cont'd



[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-19-2000).]

cont'd (I did this backa$$words...oh well!)

Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd (You catch with your hands, not your helmet.)
MLB: Chief Priority (Just plain mean.)
DT: The Fly, 58forever (They don't watch the ball, either.)
DE: gaz (Are you still in?), TBD (Any takers? C'mon slackers!)
RCB: htismaque (Needed to feel included.)
LCB: Disco Jones (Will dance better than Deion.)
SS: WisChief (Got the skillz.)
FS: Iowanian (Is heavily armed...and perhaps medicated.)
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (Is the owner...can do whatever the hell he wants.)
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm (Because he's "special".)
Cheerleader: Trixy, Katt, Starr and the other whores--er--I mean athletic supporters--er--I mean Fan Support Specialists from the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch, Warrensbug, MO
PR Man: RCG Chief (a.k.a. Bob Greetz...Make us look good)
Masseuse: Smltheppl (Such a delicate touch.)
Legal counsel: AZ Chief (With KCs recent problems, not a bad idea.)
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan (Be sure to include the attendance in that day's program. Packfan will use this publication for his main source of info.)
Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh (Hee keeeps us hear ideeuts n lin.)
Executive in Charge of Player Fines: Clint in Wichita (just don't shoot us).
The butt of our jokes: Packfan (You just make it soooo easy.)

Still looking for anther DE, OLB, OG. I haven't heard from morphius, Chiefs Red Pants and a few other regulars.

MM
~~Really needs a hobby.<BR>

This thing won't let me edit my posts!!

MM
~~Needs to find a way to spell check!

I still can't edit, ssoooooo . . .

I would just like to everyone to know that this roster is by no means final. I merely pulled it out of my a$$ because my wife's sick, asleep and nothing good is on T.V.

How about Tuesday Night Football? And Wednesday, Thursday, Friday . . .

MM
~~Has nothing better to do.



------------------
One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.
--George W. Bush

Damn,
I go to work for the day, do some Christmas shopping after that and get on the BB to find this thing blown up.
I want to be the RBbC member that gets named as the starting HB in training camp, only to never see the field, losing my job without ever getting the chance to hold onto it. I'm small, but I'm slow, and I couldn't find a hole, even if I fell into it.
And I'm also the guy that once told pacfan that if the only thing that keeps him from jumping on the Chiefs' bandwagon is CP, then I hope CP is GM for years.
the milkman
trying out for the team

You sound like Mike Cloud.

Mark: Outstanding work! The team is looking fantastic and should be ready to field by the weekend.

P.S. I just invested (for the team) errr myself, two pair of $700 shoes to go with the $1900 suits. Still in quest of that special lid with the feather in it to complete "the look" (pimp as you called it) so I can be style'n on the sidelines. If you have figured out the team colors, I will try to get the hat to match. :D

P.S.S. Still trying to figure out why the hell Elvis hasn't won a playoff game. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/frown.gif

I noticed when looking through the roster that Packfan has succeeded in keeping me off the team. This is an outrage! I will not rest until I make the team. Also, what happened to Wolfman being starting QB?

------------------
WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

Cannibal,
Exactly right.
the milkman
the missing member of the SitCom

LB: Still looking for another DE, OLB, OG. I would put you on myself, but as GM, I am to busy buying new $1900 suits, getting my teeth cleaned while trying to fit it all under the cap. :D

I can't find an H Back coach.

Do you think Packfan could tell me where to line up?

Luz
ready to learn from the all knowing...

Bill: History says no.

Hey guys, I think we should run the old Statue of Liberty play! They'd never expect it and we'd certainly score a TD!

It's an old, but very famous play. For the sake of the young kids on the bb, maybe Packfan could explain how it works?

While you're at it, enlighten us with the best way to run a Flea Flicker and a Nebraska Special (era mid 70's). OK?

Luz
wow!!!... a chance to hear these famous plays diagramed by the all knowing one!!!...

[This message has been edited by Luzap (edited 12-19-2000).]

Luz, I don't know about the Nebraska Special, but the Statue of Liberty and Flea Flicker I do. I may be young, but I am somewhat knowledgeable.

------------------
WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

Wasn't the Nebraska Special better known as the "Fumblerooski"?

raiderhader,

That's fair. The play I am referring to actually has several names.

Simply put, it is a misdirection play where the center doesn't actually snap the ball, but rather sets it on the ground behind him.

The entire team then moves one direction with the exception of one guard that picks up the ball and goes the other way.

It's crazy and silly ~ and Nebraska used to score a couple of TDs a year with it.

Luz
starting to remember a lot of trick plays...<BR>

Dartgod,

I think we're talking about the same play.

Luz
did I leave out any important details or variations???...

Hey, put it in the play book. That is right up my alley. Even though it really doesn't matter since Packfan won't let me be on the team. :mad:

------------------
WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

Last night at this point I was annointed special teams coach. I chose the position because of its high tolerence for apathetic performance.

Should the position still be open, I humbly offer my services.

Mark M:

I would rather be a Tight End from Bob Jones University than a Wide Receiver from the University of San Francisco....

mmaddog
****************
thinks he would be better as a Defensive End

I have been away for awhile,

Ken,

Did I make your team, did I, did I, huh, huh, oh gosh I really wanted you to name me to your team.

Cannot think of a finer BB honor than being on Packfan's all idiot team. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

An occasional butt smack would be acceptable :) Just don't hit tooo hard. :D

But I want the #1 spot.

Ohh Ohh Ohh (my Horshack impression)

I Have a starter for the " all Knowing Team"

General Ganz aka Private Ganz


How could we all forget about him http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/confused.gif

Let's see there was the Bumerroosky which was a fake punt. Where the ball was hiked to the upback and placed between the legs of a lineman pulling who took off running. There was the Fumbleroosky where the Center hiked it to hit the QB's hand and then let it hit the ground and then the Center picked it up and took off. There were a couple of others like the Bounceroosky but they haven't run them in forever and one forgets in my advanced age. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif

Let's see how much time I can waste today!

Defense:
PR/KR: mlyonsd (Sells stolen--er--used cars in the off-season.)
MLB: Chief Priority (Not so lean tackling machine.)
DT: The Fly, 58forever (The Offsides Outlaws.)
DE: gaz (Hasn't complained yet.); Mark Kilgore (End wasn't tight enough.)
RCB: htismaque (Faster than a speeding bullet...but not as accurate.)
LCB: Disco Jones (Will dance better than Deion.)
SS: WisChief (Likes to hit stuff.)
FS: Iowanian (Is heavily armed...and perhaps medicated.)
Punter: Mi_chief_fan (Is the owner...can do whatever the hell he wants.)
Off-the-field personnel:
Waterboy: alanm (Rode the short bus.)
Special Teams Coach: Otter (Remember: You must have someone to cover all of the opponents players...i.e. the flyer.)
Cheerleaders: Trixy, Katt, Starr and the other whores--er--I mean athletic supporters--er--I mean Fan Support Specialists from the Million Dollar Fantasy Ranch, Warrensbug, MO
PR Man: RCG Chief (Will tell the public what we want them to hear, rather than the truth...Bob Gretz Jr.)
Masseuse: Smltheppl (Also uses aroma therapy. ;) )
Youngin': raiderhader (Will get to play when he finishes puberty.)
Legal counsel: AZ Chief (With KCs recent problems, not a bad idea.)
Media Guide Manager: Misplaced Chiefs Fan (Be sure to include the attendance in that day's program. Packfan will use this publication for his main source of info.)
Designated Smart Slapper: bkkcoh (Hee keeeps us hear ideeuts n lin.)
Executive in Charge of Player Fines: Clint in Wichita (Just don't shoot us.)
Deaf, dumb and blind kid: Packfan


[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).]

The new, new roster.

Team owner: Mi_chief_fan (Will charge $10 to participate in practice.)
GM: Bwana (Is busy trying to get his wardrobe under the salary cap.)
Coach: Denzel Washington (Miles for everyone.)
Offense:
QB: Mark M (Got the job by winning the Sears trophy and Super Bowl...on his PLayStation. At least he's won a playoff game.)
FB: Bob Dole (Large and in charge).
HB: Luz (averages 4 ypc...for his three carries a season. Kimble Anders Jr.)
HB: H_C (Will bust off a 60 yard and then ride the bench...Greg Hill Jr.).
HB: Lumpoc Brave (Named starter in minicamp but will never see action...Mike Cloud Jr.)
WR: KPhobia, JOhn, coryt (Tres Hombres)
OT: Titus; Wolfman ("Burnt" Ends.)
OG: Russ (Has a knack for getting in the way); bishop (Needed a spot on the team...plus we needed to fill out the roster.)
Center/Halftime Entertainment: Cameron Diaz
TE: dawsonpa (Has the tightest end in the league.); Logical (Will make sense in this position.)
PK: Dartgod (Lin Eliott Jr...)

I would like to thank everyone for not taking my snide comments too seriously.

All roster positions will be finalized by Bwana (assuming he gets his shopping done) and Mi (power hungry son-of-a . . . . ).

MM
~~Has spent too much time on this...

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-20-2000).]