Boobs are like.....my favorite thing!
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I'm Awesome.
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DeAngelowns
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I'm buliding a motor.
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Rain sucks. Water leaking into my fuggin' basement sucks even worse! Build a french drain, I must. This is going to suck balls!
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Bad gas this mornin.
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The Twitter thread of Chiefsplanet.
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My starbucks girl is hot. I wish she'd stop flirting with me.
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I am the fattest, famished, man in the history of mankind. Let's eat.
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i love fried chicken
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I'm excited for Super Thai Hot Tuesday (moved this one week only from Super Thai Hot Thursday).
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I'M FULL!!! BUT YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!!!
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Johnny Damon is a giant douche.
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Worthless without pics |
Planning for a wedding is gat damned pain in the ass!
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My ****ing alarm didn't go off today and it cost me a 4 mile run. Unless of course I get off my ass after work, but that's probably not happening.
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My boss is an idiot. I know more about his job than he does. Screw it--Truthfully, I do most of his job for him!!!
And that would suck, except for one thing: I found out three days ago that I make more money than he does. I don't even know how that can work! It may be that I'm employed by the dumbest company in the universe. But I'm not complaining that I make more $$ than Corky... |
I. WANT. THIS. ****ING. SHIRT.
http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/4...4221721642.jpg A girl in Alaska has it. |
I guess it's Boba Fett Sunday. This hoodie is rad:
http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/2/7/8...99176846_o.jpg |
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I painted my block.
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I want to go gamble, but no one wants to go with.
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I'll go |
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Well didn't give you much chance to answer there. Friend called and he wants to go to D&B's, If you really want to go gamble sometime though let me know, I've been wanting to go since I turned 21.
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I got a $20 gift card to Best Buy from my rewards zone card. That free laptop from HP is still giving.
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I'm watching the fights at bww....And I think I found a new favorite beer
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Titties
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I really want some cold applesauce with cinnamon.
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On the one hand, we can always use the rain. But on the other hand, I wanted to drive up to the top of the mountain tomorrow.
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I just drank a Bud Ice, Yay!
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I've done so much, with so little, for so long, I can now do anything with nothing.
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Tommy Lee Jones and Harrison Ford should have made more than one movie together.
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I'm sick of doing home improvement and other personal errands.
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taken is a great movie
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I wish The Mike O'Meara Show was better than it is. But it's not.
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Bud Ice is good for cheep beer.
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I love gran turino best movie in last 2 years.
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If Roger Waters' 1992 album Amused To Death had been released as a Pink Floyd record, it would have shifted 5M+ units and we'd be talking about the holy trinity of Dark Side of the Moon, The Wall and Amused To Death.
Instead, it's a release which most people have never heard of. |
Pink floyd good but enigma is better
Posted via Mobile Device |
Okay. I look for positive re-enforcement wherever i can find it, I guess.
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I want a shirt that say i'm half mexican in all the right places.
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Don't be afraid, it's only business,
The alien prophet sighed. The vulture and the magpie took The cash box from its hook The monkey in the corner Wrote the figures in his book. Crazed the checkout lady's fingers Flash across the till And the captain posts the menu of the day And in banks across the world Christians, Moslems, Hindus, Jews And every other race, creed, colour, tint or hue Get down on their knees and pray The raccoon and the groundhog neatly Make up bags of change But the monkey in the corner Well he's slowly drifting out of range Christ, it's freezing inside The veteran cries The hyenas break cover And stream through the meadow And the vet rolls in To his bottle of gin So he picks up a stone That looks like a bone And the bullets fly And the rivers run dry And the fat girls sigh And the network anchor persons lie And the soldier's alone In the video zone But the monkey's not watching He's slipped out to the kitchen To pile the dishes And answer the phone. --What God Wants, Part 3 |
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Taken is the best movie I've seen in some time.
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I have buddy that Pit Bulls his girl.
He takes the tampon out of her cooch, and eats the blood clots, and sucks the tampon, and then whips his head around like a Pit Bull on a chew toy. Apparently his girl loves it. |
North Korea qualified for the 2010 World Cup.
Hm....that's interesting. |
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i got a job offer the other day while working the bread store, today i showed up to accept the position to discover that the guy who made the offer(and negotiated wage, even promised higher than what he said they normally started at) doesn't actually work there.
im still more than a little confused, the guy was in the building when i went in, but said he didn't actually work there and introduced me to the lady working the front desk, but she had no idea what he was talking about. some other dude came rushing in and they all had to leave, so she tossed me an application and asked me to come back. don't think so. |
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!".
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haha is that mitch hedberg?
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The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.
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RIP Mitch......he was hilarious |
ya he was, RIP
that first one sounded like him Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It's very dangerous to wave to someone you don't know because, what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. "Look what I got mother****er! This thing is useful. I'm gonna go pick something up!" |
One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
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I just saw a MILF in a tight gray business suit with wonderful calves. She was taking her dog out for a shit. I wanted to bang her.
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My bosses broke out the Crown and Cokes at a quarter to 4. I have had a great day.
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I'm so uninspired at work right now. I could probably leave in the next half hour if I could motivate myself to actually do what I'm supposed to be doing.
I saw the epitome of bad driving earlier. An elderly woman, stooped over her steering wheel, huge glasses and all, driving 20 miles under the speed limit (which was 45) while she talked on her cell phone. Times like that I wish I drove a james bondmobile, so I could launch rockets out of my headlights. |
Huge Titties
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Hamburgers
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The pilot of an airliner bound for Newark from Brussels died in midair. They didn't tell anyone and apparently landed the plane safely. I guess that's why there's a co-pilot. (I guess if you have to choose between being in Newark and dying in midair...)
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