Can I pick out some cucumbers and carrots and make phallic references?

Because I need to know how good you are at conversation. Well, I don't need to know but it's helpful for planning purposes.

Patience my young Padawan.

So if a dude isn't good at conversation how does that change the plan?

I'd MUCH rather communicate via text or email in the beginning.

I won't take you or the date seriously. You are now a scheduled commitment as opposed to potential excitement. I may make escape plans. I may get quietly drunk. You may very well conquer all that with a sexy brooding stare and arsenal of bar tricks, but it would make it so much easier if you'd just pass the oral.

OK. I'm still not going to increase my pre-date texting, though. Especially considering I'm a wonderful conversationalist. Truly.

Tell me more about ladies and dating. I need intel. What goes through a dumb girl's mind following a successful first date where mutual attraction is established? What does she expect/plan for? Does she meticulously shear and oil her babushka nightly in eager awaitance of potential coital rendezvous with her dashing new suitor?

I have heard several times that if she didn't shave her legs before a date, its not a good sign for you. Probably obvious, but your post reminded me of that.

Date 3 tomorrow going to a nice restaurant on the plaza dawg

You hit it yet billay?

Not yet purposely trying not to as long as I can to see if this will turn into an actual relationship.

You at least gonna make a move?

Already messed around bruh

Cool beans. Hopefully she doesn't have a **** stud on standby ;)

Prolly it's online dating I don't get my hopes up anymore. Though she's the one who messaged me.

Hope it works out.

Or Gonorrhea

Hope it works out, bill

....or gulp....A penis

Are you sure that "gulp a penis" is really what you wanted to say?

Yeah, I'd totally be down for gulp a penis. Just not *gulp* a penis

Get an extra slice of cake while you're down at the Cheesecake Factory to eat out of her butthole later.

Boy please you know I invented licking ASS

I wouldn't go with anything that has a nut shell. She could have a nut allergy and then her balloon knot would swell up to three times its normal size and look like a baboon's.

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I don't remember what it's like to be a dumb girl.

I'll answer as the dumb girl...

A dumb girl who thinks a date is successful usually doesn't end up with a second date. Did you already set up a second date?

BwaaaHaa.

That's really sad.

No, I usually wait a couple days.

What kind of pussy, high school shit is this?

If you haven't hit by third time hangin' out, you're probably in the friend zone.

Unfortunately online dating is full of chicks who will not **** you on the third date.

And that's the reason they're perpetually single (I see the same girls on these sites constantly): most guys aren't gonna deal with that.

I've done the opposite. If things are going well I plan the 2nd date on the 1st date. Just as a part of the conversation - "oh you've never been to X place? Let's go on Friday"

I used to do that. Now it just seems desperate.

Shit, I think that's a good thing. These chicks are probably going on an insane amount of dates. If they were giving it up to every Tom, Dick and Harry that made it to date three, well... there'd probably be a lot more happy dudes out there.. but that's just not classy.

Women are the filter.

Yes because the proper way to find a quality boyfriend is by giving it up to every dickbag that is just looking to get laid as quickly as possible.

Some of you guys are quite contradictory - don't respect sluts but expect every girl to sleep with you immediately.

I can't recall ever NOT getting a 2nd date when I did it.

But I did it with a great deal of charm.

I have two neighbors who online date and tell me as soon as they give it up, they never get another call returned.
So these chicks who are playing poon keep away from you guys have probably been hung up wet a few times and are now guarding the rim.
Sounds like a serious problem for both parties, who are online dating because they had enough dating problems to begin with.
You know where the girls are, dude? The supermarket. No shit.

If the date is going really well, you should do this. No brainer. The texting 10 times a day until the next date is the desperate part.

I'm not going to sleep with a guy I just met. However when the day comes that we are going to bump uglies, it is patently clear. No subtle seductions. I give the guy time to stretch/prepare.

I've never done that.

In any case, I don't think it really makes a difference. If a girl is into you, waiting a couple days to ask her out again isn't gonna be a big deal.

Friend zone? I've know her for a little over a week and we've been on a few dates and messed around.

How likely are you to send the following text message:

"Hey STUD. I want to see YOU tonight. And I won't be wearing underwear. Pick me up at 8."

I don't expect that at all. But I had a chick over at my place a few weeks ago, and it was our fourth date. I had already been to second base.

I cooked her dinner, we watched a movie, I started making moves on the couch and I get "I WANT TO TAKE IT SLOW."

I was done right then and there, and we haven't talked since. ****ing is part of dating. I mean, ****, let's live a little. Sex is fun.

Not even related but for some reason this reminded me of a long-past night of passion..

I had been talking to this girl for about 2 months. I liked her a lot, which always causes me to be a cautious pussy, so I was taking things very slowly to avoid accidentally scaring her off. Anyway, we're laid up in my bed one night not even doing anything- just cuddling (OMG this makes me sound so gay). Out of nowhere she gets up and takes her shirt off. I'm like ".... What are you doing?" and she says "I'm going to have sex with you".

So we ****ed, I fell in love, and about 4 months later she ended up getting back with her ex of 4 years. Turned out I was just a rebound.

I am so much more adorable than that.

But if it's about getting ass, I can be whatever girl I need to be.

Yeah my other name is Wilt Chamberlain.

But it's not out of any malicious need. I get bored. This is reason #23 I stay in monogamous relationships.

Bullshit. There's nothing not classy about ****ing someone on a third date. That's industry standard.

Besides, you need to get that shit out of the way. What if they suck at sex? What if they have micro-penis going on? What their body is covered in acne?

Need to find that shit out. What if you wasted a ****ing month dating someone and then you decided you're done when suddenly, OMG, THEY HAVE A THIRD NIPPLE.

Nope, people should be ****ing. It's fun. It drives our goddamn species. Penis in vagina. Do it.

True.

If you have a metric for when you expect to have sex then you're probably doing it wrong.

You'll get laid with a girl when it feels like the right time.




And that's coming from me. Christ.

You're speaking strictly from a man's perspective, which isn't surprising.

You've got to realize that a great deal of guys are just trying to get their dicks wet. Women know that because they've experienced it time and again. Extended periods of time without giving up the cookie is one of the few ways women have of vetting their suitors.

If you decide you don't want to date a chick because you pulled her panties down to find a Sarlacc Pit then you're just out a couple months. Assuming you're the healthy individual that you say you are, you'll have plenty more months left to get it right.

That's because it took you 2 months to even try and even then it wasn't you that did.
Chicks don't go for the timid guy, who spends two months with a scared set blue balls, dude. They don't.
They go for the man who takes what he wants because he has the confidence to do so.

That's why your gun says replica and his says Desert Eagle POINT FIVE OH!!

Nah, **** that. If I'm inviting her over to my place, my intentions should be clear. I've been in situations where I waited longer. Those women were all ****ed up in some way, and they're still single. Not hard to figure out why.

If it's not a **** yes, it's a **** no. If you don't want to **** me on a third or fourth date, why the **** are you dating me? We're incompatible. Hit the bricks, girl. I'm sure you can find some other guy who will buy you dinner and not **** you, but it's not gonna be me. I have more respect for myself than that.

Please don't ever refer to it as a Desert Eagle.

Who cares if she gets dumped? Girls like sex, too. Worst case scenario an attractive dude took you out a few times, probably paid for most everything, and then you enjoyed some sex.

He never calls you again? Boo ****ing hoo. Don't act like you didn't have fun.

Nope. Third or fourth date. I'll make an exception for illness or Aunt Flo visiting, but other than that...people should be ****ing.

Twas a metaphor movie reference for his confidence. Not his weapon.

I prefer fantasy weapons.

I call mine Grond.

http://i.imgur.com/ABWF9hb.gif

There are too many factors in play to determine if that was definitively the cause of our relationship ending.

I wasn't a total bitch about it anyway. I was the one that pursued her in the beginning by asking for her number. I was the one that made the move for the first kiss. We had talked about sex and she would mention how she wasn't the type to give it up too quickly so I backed off on it. I didn't want to be like every other guy and try and make a play on her coochie every time I got her alone.

I was young as well. 21. She was 20. Her ex was 30 (seriously) and a family friend. You know how women like older men. I highly doubt she had planned on pursuing anything serious with me.

I've had discussions with girl friends on the subject. Apparently, a lot of guys are horrible at sex.

Exactly. Better figure it out sooner rather than later.

Imagine if you really liked some dude and he pops in 30 seconds every time.

Then you teach him to do something else.

This is all wrong anyways. What if our 3 dates weren't conducive to having sex afterwards? Are you then telling me that it's one of our responsibilities to make sure we design a 3rd date that is?

Poop on that.

What if a guy knocks her pussy out of the park and it turns out that he's a loser/user/abuser/cheater/etc?

Now she's all in love with a gifted love maker with no job and herpes.

GoChiefs ideal 3rd date: Netflix and "chill".

http://rs1352.pbsrc.com/albums/q655/...11a53.gif~c200

That's my responsibility.

That's why I'm cooking your sweet ass dinner at my swingin' bachelor pad.

I ply you with food and wine and then... :evil:

Girls have a sixth sense about this shit. Any female worth her salt should be able to sniff out a loser by at LEAST a second date, and certainly determine if he has a job by then.

Buuuuuuullshit.

It's callled woman's intuition.

I don't think the 3rd date is make or break for sex like some of you claim

I see. Hell, you were 21. Nuff' said.

And just a hint. Every woman who actually IS interested in you says she's not the type to give too quickly. Every. Single. One.

No, it's not. That's dumb. Having sex or not is also not going to determine whether a relationship blossoms.
Unless she has a bad experience. That's why is sounds like a scared, pussy move for a guy to say something like "I'm holding out in hopes of a relationship."

This. I sucked at sex for years, until I learned how to communicate.
That led to more control, which led to more confidence, which led to better sex.

Hah. No way, man. I've boned so many chicks the first time I got them alone that wanted a relationship. I know what you're saying though. Most girls don't want to come off as a slut.

But I lived and learned in that situation. Probably dodged a big ass bullet. She was Dominican and Latinas are feeeerrttillllle. I'd probably have like 3 kids with her by now.

And what did they say? "I NEVER DO THIS"
Right?...Right?

And honestly, dude. Most girls I have been with, I hit it right away. And only about 1/2 turned out to actually be sluts. Just cause a girl ****s me on the first night, I don't immediately assume she's a slut. I assume she's really attracted to me.

Maybe a couple but I don't recall that being a theme.

I did most of my boning from the ages of 18-22 with girls that were of similar age. Maybe that played a part.

We're adults. No games. If you plan to **** me in the future, you might as well **** me now. I'll wait if I have to, but posturing is just silly.

I feel you. Dating can be pretty silly, though.

I couldn't **** my way out of a paper bag at that age, although I did a lot of it, and thought I was doing something. It took some older chicks and experience to show me what's actually what as far as actually being any good at it.

It can. Especially when you REALLY like someone. Rational thought goes out the window.
I was tending bar when I met my current and baby's mother. I used have to go in the back for a second because I would start breathing so hard when she came in.
Still does it for me, too. We had a real shitty rough patch. I'm so glad I hung in there with her. I'm a lucky ****ing bastard who Waaaay out kicked his coverage.

Depends on the situation I guess, but if I've known you for a couple weeks, we've been on 3 or 4 dates, it's time. It's the perfect way to get closer to someone.

And uh...it's fun? If you're not ****ing, it's not dating.

Looking back, I was probably pretty bad as well.

I never ate pussy and I struggled to make it last after about 45 seconds. A lot of slowing down on pumps to reach the 5 minute mark LMAO

That's not to say that you, or anyone else couldn't. Just a personal revelation.

I had some embarrassing moments, my friend.