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-   -   Other Sports Gladiator 2018 - Round 1, Match 15 - Pablo versus Pestilence (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=316123)

ToxSocks 07-09-2018 09:29 AM

It's Pestilence. You guys aren't thinking this clearly.

I've looked into my crystal ball and this is how it goes down:

Pest is chillin', getting a lap dance when Pablo knocks the door down. Pablo stands there, all you can see is his silhouette as the fog machine rolls a thick blanket through the club.

Pest pushes the bimbos away, gets up and grabs his 2h Sword. Then immediately gets shot in the back of the head with a BB gun, which only angers him. Pest charges at Pablo, but then quickly stops as the dog emerges from the fog, barking and gnashing teeth. Pest and Pablo stand deadlocked with a dog between them. That's when Pablo makes his move!

Pablo swings the bat with his one arm but is un able to create any torque, as it requires two arms to swing the bat effectively. This wild, loose swing compromises his balance. The dog lunges at Pest, dragging Pablo to the ground.

Pest grabs a stripper and chucks it at the dog, leaps over their collided bodies and impales Pablo, who' still on the ground, with his claymore.

As Pest walks back to to the table with the ho's, he gets shot in the ass....the fight is over, but since when do little kids listen?

The Franchise 07-09-2018 09:44 AM

Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Pasta Little Brioni 07-09-2018 09:47 AM

Isn't Pablo sort of a midget too? He's not controlling that damn dog. The dog tying up an arm is a disadvantage.

ToxSocks 07-09-2018 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 13620421)
Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Seriously. I remember trying to walk my buddy's full blood American Pitt.....it was a big, muscular machine. Fantastic dog. Happy as could be.

But...uh...he was walking ME more so than i was walking him.

The Franchise 07-09-2018 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 13620446)
Seriously. I remember trying to walk my buddy's full blood American Pitt.....it was a big, muscular machine. Fantastic dog. Happy as could be.

But...uh...he was walking ME more so than i was walking him.

I have a 2 year old pitbull that weighs 80 lbs. That ****er pulls me on walks and I'm 250 lbs. And there is no way that I would be able to fight anyone if he was determined to **** someone up.

Sofa King 07-09-2018 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 13620421)
Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

Truth

Sofa King 07-09-2018 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 13620455)
I have a 2 year old pitbull that weighs 80 lbs. That ****er pulls me on walks and I'm 250 lbs. And there is no way that I would be able to fight anyone if he was determined to **** someone up.

Jesus. 250 lbs now? Being a father of 8 sure hasn’t been kind.

The Franchise 07-09-2018 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13620460)
Jesus. 250 lbs now? Being a father of 8 sure hasn’t been kind.

ROFL I've always been fat and it's 3 kids, dick. You're thinking of Plow.

DJ's left nut 07-09-2018 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 13620421)
Some people are just beyond ****ing stupid. Go chain an angry pit bull to your wrist and then try and swing a bat with any power or accuracy.

'Leash' /= chain.

Pablo has a bowie knife and Rainman has already said that the dog will obey Pablo.

So he just uses the knife to cut the damn leash (it may be tight to his wrist, but that doesn't mean he can't cut it somewhere; later in the leash, collar - whatever), tells the dog to eat you and then should you manage to catch the dog in flight with a broadsword, he just gets you in your moment of distracting with his nailclub.

And even if he some titanium leash or something - angry doesn't mean unruly. The prompt says it's a trained and obedient dog. An angry Belgian Malinois on a leash is a sight to behold but when they're trained, they're pretty much a ball of barely restrained hate. So look at the pit as though it's a well trained police k-9 sort of dog. That 'barely restrained' is gonna be enough for him to keep things on track and when he's within killing range, he'll give the dog the go command and you be ****ed.

Sofa King 07-09-2018 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pestilence (Post 13620478)
ROFL I've always been fat and it's 3 kids, dick. You're thinking of Plow.

How come your hands are so dainty then? It doesn’t make sense.

Rain Man 07-09-2018 10:12 AM

It was a close match, but at the end the strippers sidle up to Pablo and ask him if he'd like a dance. Pablo moves on to the second round while Pestilence is tossed out into the dumpster of a nearby Taco Tico.

Sofa King 07-09-2018 12:43 PM

I humbly request that the dumpster also be lit on fire. I feel like Pestilence would like to go out in a little more glory. Maybe keep some hobo’s warm for the night.

The Franchise 07-09-2018 12:46 PM

You all have chosen to kill a part of Fisty. Way to go you ****s.

ToxSocks 07-09-2018 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sofa King (Post 13620775)
I humbly request that the dumpster also be lit on fire. I feel like Pestilence would like to go out in a little more glory. Maybe keep some hobo’s warm for the night.

We could light the dumpster on fire and then roll the dumpster down the street. In honor of Pest. It would be epic.

Rain Man 07-09-2018 12:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detoxing (Post 13620784)
We could light the dumpster on fire and then roll the dumpster down the street. In honor of Pest. It would be epic.

It would be an urban Viking burial. People should do this in real life.


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