Touching cotton.

Until one day, you're strolling down some darkened alley, and all your ghosts of pooping past converge and steal your soul.

I feel like I'm an easy going traveller with a fairly high gross-out threshold. But I have to admit - knowing that everyone around me probably just pulled shit out of their ass with their bare hand - is messing with me.

How do you make a samosa with one hand??? It's not possible.

Every weekday morning, I alternate oatmeal and yogurt with granola mixed in. I poop with a smile on my face.

I just went. It was pretty solid.

I'm not sure anyone other than my Mother when I was a child has inquired about my pooping efficiency. Thanks for caring, SR.

I've been pooping at work a lot lately. There's something very satisfying about being paid to poop.

I used to have myself trained to do it when I got to work and then right before I left for the day

I was glad to find this thread today. I've had three days in a row of no wipers in the morning and after lunch. I feel like I've lost ten pounds. Go ME!!

Let's ask the 16 year old Patriot's ball boy this question!

Love clean breakers.

I'll be back in few to let you know.

Oooooh, gots to go.

Interesting this should get bumped today because this morning I thought I had to fart and shit myself instead.Thankfully I was still wearing my shorts and boxers.

Ive been eating a lot healthier for a couple weeks now. No fast food, no soda or sweets of any kind, grilled chicken breast and rice/broccoli for most lunches and dinners, and a protein shake with a banana for breakfast every morning. Ive lost 6 lbs with no exercise and my poops have been magnificent.

Nope. It's like shitting rocks.

For about three weeks, I've been eating little more than salads, soups, and Raisin Bran/ Mini Wheats.

I've been firing sludge out of my ass that would embarrass a hippie on a commune.

I never go #2 in a public place, save for those times when it is an absolute must. Always at home. I'm OK in hotel rooms.

I've attended plenty of 3 day music festivals. Always held my shit till I got home.

Shrug.emoticon

2 scoops of Rocky Road with a swirl of soft serve on top.

That is what is commonly known as "sharting".

Hard gas

yes

His farts just had lumps is all

No not quite thanks to 7,Crown on the rocks yesterday,it made it all the way to my knee

We have 3 poop stalls that service around 200 employees on my end of the building. I work from home every Super Bowl Monday.

LMAO

I completely destroyed one of the toilets at work tonight. Damn Mexican food.

I pretty much poop twice a day, It's the butt hair that gives me grief. I should get my butt waxed.

Not many clean breaks lately

I started adding flax seed to my salads. It was really cheap at the grocery store and I wanted a break from my usual sesame seeds. I like the taste and the consistency. I've heard that it has healthy stuff in there although you may want to grind it to get all the good stuff out of there. I don't grind mine, I just sprinkle it on. It's like a shotgun blast through the bowels. Apparently I needed the fiber because the first few shits smelled like they had been in there since elementary school. I shit once or twice a day depending on how much I eat. Occasionally I get three good shits a day. Pretty nice.

Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly, Please don't be Jilly!!

I might give it a go in the coffee grinder. I got a fairly large container of the stuff for only a few bucks at the grocery store. I still have a good sized Ziploc bag that is close to full. Is the flavor any different after grinding? I find it to be a pleasant addition to my typical salad.

I just had some cottage cheese with flax seeds, black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder and Season-All a few hours ago. I bought the small curd by mistake and I want to finish it off.

Huh?

No gallbladder makes for a few trips...

2 good poops in the morning. Like clockwork.

Twice a morning. One post 2 mile run and raw milk over mini-wheats and the second after my caffeine intake. It kills me because I'm pretty sure my staff at work knows when I'm taking shit number two...

it was a little loose today

I'll give it a whirl. I enjoy the flavor.

I highly recommend Kefir pro biotics. way better than prune juice or raisins. regulates your bowel movements for a ''consistent schedule''. and you on the go people know what I'm talking about. and we're talking smooth bowel movements none of those Endelt up all night drinking stout black tarry messy shits. were talking full logs with easy pruning and very clean, minimal wiping.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...Ia064b-A8dukNQ

<iframe width='640' height='360' scrolling='no' frameborder='0' src='https://screen.yahoo.com/activia-yogurt-000000028.html?format=embed' allowfullscreen='true' mozallowfullscreen='true' webkitallowfullscreen='true' allowtransparency='true'></iframe>

Everything is running five by five with no defects.

LMAO

This is the singular greatest poop response I have evar read.

redundant

The cheese thread reminded me of the following poem,I read it on a bathroom wall when I was but a young lad...

If you want to shit at ease
put your elbows on your knees
then you very gently squeeze
till it comes out like rotten cheese

Kefir is nasty.

4 capsules of psyllium fiber a day, between 6-12 Natty lights, and I'm as regular as Robert Downey Jr. and rehab...

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/CKjaFG4YN6g" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Got tired of the small toilet...2 flusher.. Went to Home Depot and talked to the toilet guy. I explained what I wanted and he showed me a video of one of their toilets that flushed about a dozen golf balls. That sold me.

It's good for you boy lol

About to head in now, let you know how it turns out.

10/10

Single floating log, clean break, no mess.

That's the shit dreams are made of people. :clap:

Same here. I'll let you know.

Had a no poop weekend

On the phone now. Had to grunt out a kick start but it's going like a charm. A little gassy. I got a habanero flavored Slim Jim from 7/11 earlier. Probably a mistake but it was really good. Surprisingly not giving me the greasy shits. Just gas. Girth and weight acceptable. Nice consistency. Good length. Not overly stinky.

It was a touch clingy. Going to have to wipe more than I care to. Will definitely wash my hands very thoroughly afterwards.

Ghost turds are the best. You never knew they were there when you wipe.

I only poop in people's beards.

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2CRdbn2u6jY/maxresdefault.jpg



Clearly this was a mistake. I did not realize how much gas I had stored in my bowels. After a while I just sounded like one of those sad party balloons when you untie them. The smell of the bowel movement wasn't especially bad but the farts were horrendous. And I got a little of the rimfire, which was unpleasant. I tend to eat more healthy foods heading into the Summer because I crave high fiber, high moisture, low fat and low sugar when it warms up. I should probably stay out of the 7/11.

Antibiotics working a number on my stomach. Liquid hot poops. :(

Antibiotics for chlamydia?

Soylent has lessened the constipation and kept me decently regular.

Today I took an absolutely vile crap though. Oh man.

A vile crap? Tell us more, friend.

Sharing is caring.

Are you on that stuff all the time now? Do still eat actual, you know, meals?

ive been flax seeding it up

my poo is like soft serve

Pile of rabbit turds. Big piles. Perfectly round. Sounds like ploop ploop ploop ploop when it hits the water.

I rarely poop. Maybe every couple days or so and the wipes are anything but clean.

my ass violently coughs a spectacular speckled splatter into the bowl each morning...














after budweiser nights...which are rare.

I've never had a problem with this.

Hell, if i know I'm about to go on a road trip or be busy at work I can just sit down and go...

Mountain Dew Pitch Black turns my poop green.

That's because you've been hitting up the MAC N CHEETOS