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I have not been in the same situation, just got dumped via email and found out later she was banging another guy TWO whole days after she said she would be honored to be my girlfriend, so I never really thought about revenge. But, in a situation like this, would it be out of line to gather up her clothes and take a big, nasty dump right in the middle of them and leave them in a box outside for her?
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Sorry dude. You've got a lot on your plate. You are going to get through as a mountain of a man. Keep trudging through. |
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I wouldn't sweat it too much...people are self-serving. She was probably bored with the repetition that marriage creates. Men do the same shit...If my wife was thinking about having an affair..we just would become swingers. Sex is sex...marriage is something totally different. She went after a past lover...probably missing the freedom/less complicated life she had back then. Sounds like a mid-life crisis fling...
Have you ever looked at porn..since you've been married? Why? |
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Men's ego takes a harder hit...when they realize they arent the alpha-male they thought they were. That they weren't the center of her universe...and she could still be attracted to other men. It's life... |
Stay strong, don't rush to decisions, and above all, think about the your beautiful kid.
And know this, hate gets you nowhere. |
As others have said before me, be strong for your child.
I don't have any experience in these situations, but reacting harshly creates an even further divide between you and the mother which consequently harms your child. Considering her situation, you may need to be on at least speaking terms when it comes to her care. I hope things work out and I'm sorry this happened to you. Remember, do everything you do from here on out for her. |
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Dude, my deepest sympathy. That's a gut punch no one deserves!
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I'm sorry, man. I feel bad enough for you, but I feel awful for your little girl. Get a couple of professionals in your life: a relationship counsellor or a damned good lawyer or maybe both. Your bartender can make the pain go away for a while but he can't help you work the problem.
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I really can't pretend to know what you're going through so I won't. I've had my heart shredded by a dame or several but nothing like that. I felt like dog balls each time. I can't imagine how I would feel in your shoes.
What worked for me was striving for excellence. In whatever the hell I had going at the time. |
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.tonight was the slam dunk contest. Wife /girlfriend let's you watch it. Sports illustrated swimsuit issue show comes on right after. Wife/ girlfriend says no you can't, don't watch that.....**** you, you just watched a bunch of young studs in muscle t shirts n shorts. |
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Happy Valintines Day!
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Feel what you feel. People like to be helpful and tell you to not be mad/sad/hurt but that's not going to help. Feel them all -- just don't do anything that will make matters worse or convince yourself that things can't get better in the future. You just don't know.
It sucks but you can't make people love/respect you. |
my wife left me via text message so I understand your gut wrenching pain Beach. It doesn't heal quick enough, but if you allow yourself to focus on making a better you, there WILL be other people *if you allow* to help fill that void. They will never completely fill that void until YOU are ready to fill it and that is OK. it is OK to NOT be okay.. but understand that the more you allow yourself to be dragged down by the hurt, that it could have some devastating effects on your life in all aspects. Be strong.
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Sorry man. Sucks to have to go through.
Let me guess. She hooked back up with this X via Facebook? I've had more married woman come onto me via Facebook. Then I care to discuss |
Looks like you're on the opposite coast but if you happen to be near San Francisco , please hit me up. I'm a good cook and you could crash out at my pad for a couple days.
I got good herb and booze ha-ha. Anyway man ... We are family |
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Don't drag my man down with unrelated bullshit |
Triber hang in there man. Sometimes, that's all we can do.
I'd encourage you to be around people that care about you. Being alone and having bad thought after bad thought can make things so much worse. |
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A lot of good comments already, count me as one more sorry to hear your news beach tribe.
The thread title sounds like a verse from a blues number. I'm offering free lessons sometime, if you're ever interested. Seriously though try and find an outlet for the pain of it. Take care. |
eat a Snickers.....
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Go bang some freaks, porno style. That helps.
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Sorry to see this. I don't have any words/experiences to share other than that. You do have to be strong for your kid though. But you know that.
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Shit, dude. That's gotta suck. Sorry about that.
Play this smart and think of your child. |
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Now I have |
Cheaters typically don't stop cheating. They are trying to fill a hole in themselves that can't be filled because they are broken. Had a chick cheat on me once. She married that dude, then cheated on him with me (once, would have been more but I turned it down), and she was screwing around with other dudes as well.
Keep your head up, and take care of your kids. Deal with her fairly, and look out for yourself. |
Damn bro, that's a hard issue to deal with. Not much hurts like heartbreak. Not the same situation, but when I lost my son I was very overcome with the craziest emotions and thoughts of revenge (although clearly you aren't having these thoughts). I was literally seconds from jumping out of my car and trying to kill someone who was somewhat involved. Luckily my oldest daughter was with me. She was able to stop me, mostly because I didn't want to put my 2 daughters through another loss. Kids can be the glue that holds your inner self together, and even sometimes your marriage/relationship. Doesn't sound like your gonna do anything violent, which is good as your child needs you, and your strong enough to understand that you must do the right thing for the child. Keep your head up my brotha, and try to keep moving in a positive direction. You will rise above this and be a better person because of it. Nobody gets out of here without pain, and everyone hits the bottom. It's the choices you make after you hit the bottom that will define you. You're a strong person, and will make it through this.
Also I'm prob only 3 hours away from you. If you need someone to talk to, or a place to getaway you and your child are welcome here. We have an extra bedroom, so it would be no problem. Stay strong my friend and please don't hesitate to contact me. I can give you my number or address if needed. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LdUMAh-ez9Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> |
Sorry Tribe....
Praying good thoughts for you and your child to get through this with minimal pain.... |
Lawyer up, dude:
http://cordellcordell.com/ |
Here's an idea:
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I have 2 boys and my now ex cheated on me in a similar fashion. It sucks right now for you. I know. But I promise you life will be a whole better in the long run. Ive been divorced 6 years and am so much happier now than I was then. Focus on your child and yourself. Her wants are completely irrelevent to you anymore.
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That is no good tribe. As many others, I have been there and we ALL have come out on the other side. Will hurt but never think it is the bottom. If you get some weird feelings, make sure to call family and friends. Your life is important to you and your child, even if it isn't to that sorry sack you were with. Keep your head up and you will get hella sympathy lays in the near future. lol
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Sorry to hear it bud. This is certainly a tough deal. The whole ex-boyfriend thing certainly means there's likely some sort of emotional attachment deep down for her and that makes it a bit tougher.
In relationships, there always seems to be that "7 year itch" as they call it. I'm married, we've been together over 10 years. We both went through it. Things settle in, people get complacent, and life is rather boring. It happens. Don't blame yourself though, she made her decision. I'd want to know more. How was it that she was in contact with him after all this time to begin with? Was it a one night thing? Was it an affair? Does it matter? Most of all, could you forgive her depending on that answer? And with that, would you ever be able to trust her again if you did? I think taking time apart to find answers is important. You have a child together and that child's long-term welfare will depend on both of you. Figure out how the both of you will move forward from this. First instinct is to beat the guy within an inch of his life and risk spending 30+ days in the slammer, but that doesn't help your kid. Be strong. You've had your drink. |
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Sorry to hear that, I've been there. Just remember that it wouldn't have happened if SHE didn't want it too. Best to cut ties now, because if you forgive her now, she'll know you'll forgive her the next time. And there will be a next time
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And remember, CHEATING IS NOT EVER EVER EVER YOUR FAULT. DO NOT ACCEPT HER BACK OR YOU WILL BE MISERABLE. Every time she looks at her phone or steps out the door you will get a knot in your stomach. Best to let it go.
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Just for the safe side, check with the clinic if you may contact some STD.
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Sorry bud.. Hopefully every day that goes by you can move on a little bit....
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But seriously, does anybody know if they get better outcomes than those less in-your-face firms? |
Happy Valentine's Day!
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Prayers for you and your family.
No impulse decisions. Take no advice (even mine), other than to do what is best and works for you and your family. Always reach for grace. |
It's tempting to give advise here but only you know the full details involved. I'll just say, be strong, be a man, and be a good father to your child no matter what the relationship between you and your wife.
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But as long as you stay on a steady, even keel... you will be the one in control, not them In the meantime, take some time for yourself whenever possible... go do some fishing |
Don't do anything that ruins the rest of your life! Nothing worth that no matter how hurt or angry.....:shake:
I actually think women are cheating more today then most guys. |
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This sounds harsh, but don't waste your time and energy on thinking about her..guarantee she isn't.
She's the one who has to live with it..You're the one who needs to live without it. Stay strong, brother. |
Really sorry to hear this BT, I've never been through it so I don't know what advice is best other than that your child will always be more important than your wife. Right now you probably have a lot of standing in the custody situation due to her negligence, keep it that way by acting proper and you will get the most time with your child.
Stay strong bud. |
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Assholes will always think it was cool. |
Gorilla glue her glory hole....
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1000x this. Sorry to hear about your fambly troubles, tribe. |
That's tough man. Take care of the kid and keep your head up.
This is the perfect place to vent. |
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Chill, ladies. It was a joke. |
Ship her down the road. Don't do anything stupid. If you keep it you are just delaying the inevitable.
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How did you find out ?
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Im a half glass full kinda guy so...HEY! More freedom and alone time to look forward to! **** yeah, dude!
More time to workout More time to fap More time to work More time to watch movies that dont suck shit More time to watch sports Basically, more time to do the shit you wanna do! And you still have Tinder to get laid! And Strip clubs. |
bleh
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Went through a similar situation not too long ago, why are women such whores
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That sucks man.
Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't give her the time of day (I know that's easier said than done since you love her) unless if it's for business regarding your kid, or to get certain affairs in order to help move along the split. |
If i were in your shoes, i'd call up some friends and hit up the strip club.
Remind yourself of all the beautiful snatch out there in this world and that you are a lion in a field of lions, ready to **** the next sexy gazelle that grazes your way. Start looking forward to things in life, understand that you'll be MORE happy than before once you get over it. You'll recover faster. Stand proud my man, and understand that this is merely a new beginning. |
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As well, most humans aren't monogamous anyway. I was watching some study on it and only about 20% of people exhibit the "monogamous" gene when they meet the right "someone." In addition, the production of oxytocin is a limited thing and usually lasts up to only six months on the outside. It can be triggered by another person but your shit got old. So, women are whores because you got lazy and boring and weren't all that sexy after the initial spark wore off. She ain't gonna stick around just because you are you. There's always going to be a younger, stronger lion that wants to plant it's seed in that shit. As Britney says, you want a Bugatti? You want a chick that's a hot body? You better work bitch. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/pt8VYOfr8To" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> |
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