He immediately tried to upsale you on corn nuggets, didn't he?

The Schwans man's banging all your wives....

Stay the **** outta the road

It was a residential side street next to a church with no sidewalks, relax beavis.

Running from Pitbulls?

Out of business

Never run. They are faster than you.

Call Brown & Crouppen, that's easy money they'll make you.

Pro-tip...walk with a limp.

Have they not seen your hill video?

It was at least five years ago and I wasn't hurt. Not interested in destroying the poor schwan man's life.

I know, rght? CP is for posting well informed legal analysis of criminal cases.


And bitching about referees

It’s been a day. Wish he could, but he’s been busy, busy ****ing your mom with your pop lighting fireworks while attempting to engage, but those 80’s camcorders make it a tough sell. Not sure where you’ve been, but it’s getting hot up in here…

He doesn’t. Can we keep this a secret just between you and me?

Mom used to be on a route. I don't think they run routes out here anymore. Someone once told me you could order something off a website and get it delivered, but hell if I know.

I'll be damned if I don't miss the shit though. The icecream was really friggin good and the food, while some of it was hit or miss, the stuff that was good was really good and most of it I wasn't able to get a reasonable facsimile anywhere.

That was a long time ago though and it may all be different these days.

Was the truck being driven by a Pit Bull?