I'd love to say that that was your best roast of the season SNR, but then, truth be told, DaFace is the greatest moderator this board has ever seen.

The best.

Ever.

I love Michigan players.

I hope the Chiefs draft every single one.

The best.

Ummm... yeah? What? BTW, who are you?

You ****ing wish...

:) I like this one.

I like the Vlad the Impaler reference and the "time of the month" for htismaqe.... liked a lot of it. Muy interesante, mi amigo.

Are you confusing DaFace with AustinChief? I never heard DaFace mention a boner he has for Michigan

This shit is totally ****ed up.

LMAO

Have we met on here before? Have we interfeced or whatever? I don't recognize you. What does your avatar look like?

Hmmm...I thought they were conjoined twins.

My bad.

Well, I understand your personal embarrassment on this due to the fact that 6,207 of your posts have been in this singular thread.

You don't get out much.

Or talk about football.

On a football board.

But you seem nice.

Am I horrible person for laughing at the part about Flopnuts loving tags?

rico hooked us up with some dope Stanzi gifs when nobody else would.

No. Now I don't feel QUITE as horrible for writing it. Thank you.

Well, he's got that going for him...

Which is nice.

Stanzi gifs...

https://31.media.tumblr.com/31f38d4f...FyY1re9xx0.gif

:) Not embarrassed, Saccajuweya.It was a matter of time before someone poked fun at me for the majority of my posts being in this thread...and not talking football...much. I do get out more than most would think...used to be too much, but I haven't been AS active since my daughters were born. I'm cooped (sp?) up with my kids a lot, which is fine with me.

There are a couple reasons why I don't talk football much on here.

1.) You guys are intimidatingly good in terms of knowing your shit about football. Prior to joining, I thought I knew my shit. I didn't. And while I am better than I used to be, I still don't. And I refuse to really jump in much until I am confident that I can hang in there with some of you guys...which as of now, I can't. On the bright side, I generally own whoever I talk to on Facebook or in real life when it comes to football and a lot of that is because of reading this site...but I would get rammed in the ass with an agar if I were to attempt to mix it up with a lot of you on here. I'm not ready to spit shit about football yet, but I will be eventually. It's a process. One frustrating thing is that EVERY time I feel like I have something insightful to say in a football discussion, 90% of the time, it has already been said in one of the first couple pages. That is frustrating.

2.) From around this time of year until March or so, this place loses me because I am glued to The Predicament forum (Iowa college, High School and youth wrestling forum)...

You seem nice too!!!

I <3 StaNzi, Rick.

I'm with you on that shit. Some of these guys on CP , I believe really could run a team. I'm lost on the football talk in comparison to alot of these members, but sound smart at work with coworkers because of CP.

Sexual chocolate.

I also love the idea of Rain Man chilling out in his corner office, drinking a Dr. Pepper with a curly straw and writing a new poll on CP while DaFace is sobbing on the floor in front of the litter box. Then Rain Man barks out, "Less bitching, more eating! I want to hear chewing noises! You better be outright smacking on Ginger's Fancy Feast from last night! She made it just for you!"

No doubt, dude. Some of these dudes have some crazy football smarts...or they at least can give the illusion that they have football smarts.

I understood pieces of that roast.

No some couldn't ROFL get real. The average and casual fans really are dumb though.

I genuinely do believe that if certain CP posters were given the opportunity and the resources to successfully conduct their job tasks, they most definitely could manage an NFL football team...and do it well.

Yeah, I with you on this. I just throw shit at the wall, but 53 Utah linemen ain't winning shit.

Heh. I feel so loved.

I hate you both. You're dying breeds...

Hmm. Tags...

I immediately scrolled to the bottom of the page.....

I'm not sure if the Michigan comment was aimed at me or not, but I certainly don't have any particular love for them (nor any college team, really).

That was fantastic. I did especially enjoy the visual of DaFace munching down kittie turds, SNR.

Open up, step in, spray paint, eat snickers leave snickers, . . . leave trash, step out.

Leave it open so they know you been there!!!

You're a sample abuser.

How is the vanilla?

Barack Obama mother****er!! I'm the president. . . of hittin' dat ass!!

I'm gonna go upstairs and eat this ****ing chinese food in my ****in' room.

Sacodumbshit is CP's very own Cliff Clavin.

Did ol' Cliffy have lysdexia too?

LMAO, the Cheers "know it all?"

Has Saccajuweya ever been on Jeopardy?

Neither there, nor your kitchen.

What is... Cliff Clavin?

:spock:
Not sure if serious.
If serious, that makes me sad.

Hey, I just noticed the OP is updated!











Made you look

LMAO....

You missed something, homeslice.

The Rapists, Alex...

I've always found it kind of ironic that rape victims/survivors often times visit "therapists" in their journey to healing from the trauma they experienced from the rapists.

20. tk13

tk13 is the 2nd worst thing to ever happen to this forum. The first is Deberg.

I'm not sure why I signed off when PGM put him on the list in the first place. Think about whom I could be roasting right now instead of tk13.

Daru. I could be roasting Daru. That would be hella fun.

mylonsd? You bet. Don't think I've run out of middle-aged old and boring midwesterner jokes yet. There are plenty more of those. Trust me.

Taco John. Good **** people, I could be roasting Taco John right now. Do you know how much material that guy has? Endless amounts. He's responsible for so many of CP's colloquialisms and literary memes; he's the Bill Shakespeare of Chiefs Planet! Christ, the man invented the "I'm leaving forever thread!" Imagine how hard it would be to **** up a Taco John roast! It's impossible. tk13 could probably write a decent Taco John roast. That's how easy it would be.

I can't remember a damn funny thing tk13 has ever posted. Hell, I can barely remember anything he's posted at all. Once upon a time I mentioned that I like Gordon Lightfoot, and so he would occasionally post The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald in response to something I said. No, I don't know why. Maybe he thought it was funny, or maybe he was flirting with me. I don't care, really. That's the only thing I remember him posting.

Here's another Taco John word of the day for you all: burst. As in tk13 has none. He didn't lose it, though, and that's because he never had any to begin with. No legendary feuds. No awesome photoshops, material, manifestos, or a ****ing MS Paint drawing. No football or sports takes he's forever known for. Nobody can name anything he likes or dislikes. He's not a true fan, and he's not a drafturbator. He's always just chilling out in the background posting the most gripping shit you ever ****ing read like, "It's only Week 4. The Chiefs aren't out of the playoff hunt yet." He doesn't even post in the DC forum. He doesn't even have a personality. He's just barely halfway pleasant all the time. Never angry, happy, excited, scared, horny, insane, drunk, or stoned. His username is boring as ****-- just two letters and a two-digit number. Yeah, I know what you're saying, "Look who's talking, guy with three letters." Do you know how many times people have tried to figure out what SNR stands for? Have you EVER wondered what the deal was with tk13's name? And if you did, how long did it take you to shrug your shoulders and forget that you cared?

The man hasn't ever had an avatar. Not once in 13 years. That's how ****ing unremarkable his 35,000+ posts have been on CP.

I know I already used boring smaque on Cochise, but I would have saved my semen if I knew that tk13 was going to be on board.

I'll tell you what. Let's add some burst right now. You know that international society that will pay you a gajillion dollars if you prove one of these seven math proofs? We'll do that here. You guys go find some ACTUAL dirt that I could be roasting tk13 on right now besides the fact that there is none, and I'll write a roast about anybody on this forum. You pick. Your worst enemy, your best friend, or the weirdest ****er you can think of. It will be a special project that you commissioned by solving the unsolveable-- finding a legitimate long-lasting contribution that tk13 has made to ANY living breathing asshole in this cesspool of a forum.

Go.

Humor, exciting and new!!

Tell me more about airplane food.

:) I didn't realize that I was writing an old and used joke with that one, but probably should have figured so.

SNR has been on fire.


It's either creativity or syphillis.

ROFL This was better than the last roast that had no good dirt. Anytime you get another name like this that has no dirt, just pick your own. There's a bunch of people here who don't have the nuts to put themselves out there like a lot of us do. You've been salivating over my roast, SNR. Admit it. Because I've been real on here for a decade. How impossible is it to roast someone who's been here a decade that hasn't spent one day being their true selves on here? I get it.

Yeah, I spent a few seconds thinking of some shit that would make tk13 roastable, but failed miserably.

For whatever reason, I always associated the name, "tk13" with a gun... I always just figured he was one of these gun enthusiast geeks, but I assume I am probably way off on that. I wouldn't know if I am right or wrong about that anyways, for I never read any gun enthusiast threads or anything about guns in general. So I have no ****ing clue what tk13 stands for

tk13 clearly stands for "Totally Kill 13," revealing his homicidal tendencies towards Steve Bono.

tk13 is definitely a true fan, he's just shy about it

many times i've secretly wanted to strangle him like a ferret, but he's too nice, so I just spit and move on to flaming someone who has emotions

That's ****ing hilarious. ROFL

I've been trying to save myself for the day since this got started, but as you can see that hasn't worked out very well. Your name turns up in probably 1 out of every 4 roasts I write.

Take Taco John for instance. I'd love to roast Taco John. But the entire time I would be roasting him, I'd be thinking about Flopnuts.

Arrested Development was all over that, from TheRapist to Analrapist [part analysis, part therapy].

Always Sunny had Charlie trying to pose as a Philanthrapist, then blurting out that he's a 'full on rapist.'

I haven't gotten into Arrested Development YET. I will eventually, I hope.

I love that part on Always Sunny.

I know, my friend. I know. If you were here I'd buy you a bowl of soup to comfort you. That day is coming. And I shall come on that day as well...

A bowl of soup? You cheap ****.

Creamy, apparently.

cream of sum yung gai?

Ever had Pho? That shit is delicious.

it's glorified ramen

Oh, **** you.

I'd take glorified Ramen over poverty Claynus chow.

That's just noodles and water and shit. My poverty chicken dinners are fully of healthy protein and nutrition.

He's obviously an AC guy, that's why he's so chilled.....

May I suggest his proper avatar

That happens to me when I'm with my wife. Flopnuts is addictive like that.

I wish I could quit you.

Please do a "gay day with clay: poverty dinner edition".

What the Pho happen after I leave?

I thought it was because he was tommykat's 13 year old son. Seriously. I know he was young when he joined.

I really hope you're trolling here. Pho is quite a bit more than noodles and water and shit. Jesus. Just in case you're not trolling and actually are ignorant of what it takes to make pho:
On top of that, pho usually has cuts of beef, meatballs, tripe, and tendon that go into the broth. It's crazy hearty. Chicken soup on steroids.

Don't Pho with NewChief's Pho!

Yeah, I know. I'm abusing that. Most people who read it don't pronounce it right anyways though, which makes it even funnier too me.

Pho is not your foe! It's pho-king good shit!

My wife craves a good pho-king at least twice a week.

Filter evasion. Reported.