Stop getting behind the wheel please.

I got the reins, you push the wheel.

I've begun wishing the Led Zeppelin drummer played a little quieter.

I think if we're all being honest here, Werther's candies are really tasty.

I wish the people in front of me at a concert would sit the **** down.

All the musicians I like are either dead or too old to tour anymore

I get up once on some nights but I want to know about this passing out while peeing thing. My son said he read something about old men passing out in the middle of the night while taking a leak. And sometimes they injure themselves. Wtf? Is this the ****ed up shit I have to look forward to as I get older?

I had a work trip to Lil Wayne at the Colisseum. Chillest concert I've ever been to. People were literally moving so others could see.

I go home waxing poetic about my city and my daughter says "Isn't Lil Wayne's audience like really really old now?"

Geezer rap.
Im still not talking to her.

The other day this young guy that I work with was making fun of my shoes calling them dad shoes. I said look junior, I’m older than your dad what do you expect me to wear?

Ask your doctor about Tamsulosin

Couldn’t tell you about that but sometimes my wife falls asleep during sex I just very politely pull her nightgown back down when I’m done.

I've been told I have really exquisite firm tight balls like a 20 year old, quite nice for a guy about to turn 60.

I owe it all to wearing bikini briefs to keep my junk from sagging into old man balls.

Korn?

Oh no not falling for that trap again that urologist is into some freaky stuff

Ewww wtf, we don't need to be hearing about all that