ROFL


You poor bastard.

Ouch. Settle down. This is how u come across to me on the board. Maybe ur different in RL. I d/k this. So, calm down Marsha.

That's what I just said. You dumb bitch.

Paging Dr. Gonzo. Paging Dr. Gonzo.

See. No wonder u can't get laid. LMAO

Dude....I hope this whole message board persona is an act. If it isn't.....then you're life is going to be hell.

Yesterday I smelled like Aveeno Positively Radiant Exfoliating Body Wash.

I don't know him. But I'd imagine he 'behaves' himself more on a date, although my guess is that he's fundamentally the same as what we see here: a guy desperate for attention, rather than somebody seeking companionship. And I would imagine his dates realize that, on some level, conscious or otherwise. It's very hard to hide who you are, unless you're with somebody who doesn't care and just wants a ride.

Never go full queer.

LOL, that would be epic if she came back and sat down next to the wrong person.. But ended up thinking he was an improvement and didn't leave..


I have thought about doing that before when the woman was annoying the **** out of me at the wine bar..

That would work on most girls if they found you attractive..

And so goes another episode of "Life with GoChiefs"

I have a feeling the next episode is gonna be a doozy.

Umm hmm.

http://businessturnaround.blogs.com/..._the_shark.jpg

Not a chance my friend. I've done my best to stay out of this and will continue to do so. Lumpy's an adult, she can handle this douchebaggery.
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You're a cockbag. Don't air your dirty laundry if you don't want people ****ing with you about it.

She's hardly "****ing with me" about it. She's talking out her ass.

"You dumb bitch" is not a complete sentence.

No shit? I wasn't aware posting on this board constituted writing a ****ing novel. You dumb bitch.

LMAO


Someone's got his panties in a wad.

I'm scorched earth tonight. **** all ya'll.

ROFL

Aha hahahahahahaha

Well that means you stunk like rotton oatmeal. You dumb bitch.

No, it's a pleasant scent.

Do you have any idea why she asked if you were gay? Were you dressed lke a metrosexual?

I was dressed normally. But she said the last guy she was out with told her he had previously been gay and had just started getting interested in girls again. Weirdo.

Although, who knows, maybe I give off the gay vibe.

Maybe she wanted a 2for1 (on her favor) and thought if you weren't gay or bi that you wouldn't play along. When you told her you weren't gay she lost interest.

I thought it was firmly established you swung that way?

Are you ****ing kidding me? :spock:

A Mod should change GoChiefs to dumb bitch.

I think you could easily pass as bi curious.

We can change yours to White Knight.

Yeah, thats not as funny as dumb bitch.

Your gray blazer, huh?

Assless chaps and mesh shirt.

Epin. ROFL

Nah... I'm pretty sure if I whipped out my meat wagon in front of him he'd drool like those dogs in the old gravy train commercials. He'd chase me all over the house and be sorely disappointed when I disappeared under the cabinet...
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lad you're never ever goin' to get laid .. stop tryin' start watchin' more porn and self- satify .....

These dumb bitches.

I think this one wants my nuts. Bad.

Pic, please. :D

What I gather from her quotes are as follows.

1. Well you shouldn't be surprised, you're attractive. More strikingly, I like your profile. Indiana Jones and Star Wars are two of my favorite movies. - She thinks Harrison Ford is waaaaaaaaaaay hotter than you are.

2. You said you own an old car? Do you know how to fix it too? Like get your hands dirty and stuff? - She's prissy and will never get her hands dirty.

3. That's hot - Oh, God ... http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2879/hilton.jpg

4. I used to be 20 lbs heavier - Which means she will be again.

5. I returned back from the Peace Corps - I'm not touching that one other than to say you may want to change your name to Koonta Kentae.

6. Let me know if you want to hang out! - She wants you to take her to the mall and spend money on her.

Didn't someone once tell me Coffee = Sex?

I think its only when they invite you into their place for coffee.

If they did, they lied to you. My old man drinks gallons of it every day and I'm pretty sure there's no sex involved with it.

Coffee = A caffeine buzz.

Sex = Sex

If you don't know the difference by now ... God help you, son.

I think it was Dave Lane...a chick invited me out for coffee on my second date and he was like "coffee is code for sex!"

:D But, if a women asks you to come in for coffee, she likely wants your cock in her...

If she was seductively licking the rim of her coffee cup, THAT is "code" for sex. An invitation to drink coffee at a coffee shop, is not.

ROFL

Or, she's testing you. If you say yes and then go in for the kill, she may call you some sort of sick perv and throw you out.

Or, she may just want to see if you like coffee.

The true test is to accept the invitation. If she pours you a cup of coffee, you're probably not getting any.

If she says, "Actually, I don't drink coffee. I don't even own a coffee pot." ... :D

Well, no sex, but she was really cute, had a great smile, and was into UFOs of all things, not to mention Indiana Jones, Star Wars and Indian food. WTF. Friggin perfect for me.

I'd say I'll see her again for sure. She told me to bring my book on UFOs next time.

Me. If they want to have "coffee" it ain't the coffee in the kitchen that's on their minds. Its the dead ****er in the garage...

No wait, that was an acid flashback to Pulp Fiction.

Actually the deal is to invite her over (opppsss sorry Clayton) and if she says something about that being forward or this is too soon you throw it back on her and say "Why do you have some ulterior motive here? What are you up to, won't I be safe? I've heard about you wild women, my mom warned me about you!"

Ask Luv by the way. If she's inviting some guy out for "coffee" which she doesn't drink or a "drink" its all about the shrinky dink.

I'd say going to a bar with a woman almost always implies a hookup.

Coffee is different in my two experiences with it thus far. I tried to extend the date and go have dinner, which, if she truly wants to bang, is basically an opportunity for her to decline and say "let's go back to your place instead." But she said she needed to go home...

Coffee actually is more like I think I'd like to have sex with you but I want to make sure. I only had one or two times I got asked out for coffee that the inevitable didn't happen. Sometimes not that night.

Most women are like this. They want to meet you before they decide if they want to sex you up. Most men just need a picture. :LOL:

Coffee-enemas are the new in-thing ... bend over Go-Boy ...

Here's something awesome: A really cute 23-year old who lives a couple miles away sent me a message tonight. She wants to get together. The kicker?

She used to be a Jehovah's Witness.

Hmmmm!

She also has tattoos. Slutty.

OK, that girl is definitely into me. We've been chatting like crap while I'm up here in Missouri. She even got on cam for me and she is SMOKING. She is way out of my league but the poor dear has only dated assholes so I'll be a welcome change.

In other news, gay dudes are hilarious.

Coffee is like sex in that, when it's good, it's really good, and when it's bad... it's still pretty good and beats not having any at all.

OMFG. I texted this chick last night and she was like "I'm out." I texted her back and went to sleep.

JUST NOW I get a text "sorry I didn't respond. I was like awwwww and then I got distracted. Remind me never to drink again. lol"

lololololololol...think she's into me?

Obviously.

What did you say before and after she said "I'm out."?

She saw my new pictures and said she liked them.

I said "thanks, I'll send you copies if you get online."

Then she said "I'm out."

Then I said "Oh no! Some guy is gonna steal you! :("

*wince*

What angle were you working with that comment?

Also, she probably was distracted by a phallus.

I don't work angles. I just say what comes to mind.

I'm sure she doesn't give a shit. She just told me to call her..we have a cute little e-date set up. I told her to do her hair. :evil:

OK. Good to know.

Pound the pud. And pound it again.

I would be shocked if this one didn't open her legs within two dates. She sent me a picture of herself in underwear for crying out loud. Tasteful, conservative underwear, but underwear nonetheless. And stilletos.

Do me a favor and cap your 'internet date.'

I don't give a shit, but I posted the pic in the pics forum. Douche.

I'll take some screenshots. Maybe she'll flash a boob.

Did she tell you her friend was going to pass you a note in history class? Jesus.

Yeah she's sort of flirty like that. It's cute. GFY.

Just a friendly piece of advice: I think your "text game" needs a little work. That last one makes it seem like you're groveling after her. Send something confident and funny. I would've responded to the "I'm out" text with something along the lines of "OK, but remember, the key to scoring hot guys at bars is (insert something funny here)" I'm sure you can think of a myriad of things to insert at the end.

I don't care to work on it. Game is bullshit.

thats cause you have none bitch. no balls,no sand,no guts, no grit,no game.
youre a curdog.

face the facts.

Whats a curdog ?