ChiefsPlanet

ChiefsPlanet (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/index.php)
-   Hall of Classics (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/forumdisplay.php?f=32)
-   -   101 random roasts by misc Roastmasters - Thread #2 (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=274123)

|Zach| 06-29-2013 03:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783131)
So at 4 in the morning he was just on your mind?

No.

I was reading this thread where he was posting though.


.....

crazycoffey 06-29-2013 04:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pants (Post 9782934)
No way, dude. You're just a troll. Sure you say some dumb shit from time to time, but who doesn't? CrazyCoffey is a legit gamma-ray burst of stupid.

Quote:

Originally Posted by |Zach| (Post 9783121)
You have it all wrong.


I will fully admit the differences between my real life and my posts on CP are intertwined to some extent. It's a small sample size, however. Couple that with CP being my first BB experience, I made a few mistakes. Oh well.

The problem with you two, is you've been here longer, have more experience in the Internet anonymity, and still can't shake the insecure feeling of a little geeky kid in the locker room after high school gym class.

I know it's hard to understand this, but I ready know you're smarter than me (in some ways) and I'm more physical than you. I don't need or want to compensate for anything related to some high school social structure. Get over it, sorry for the swirly some guy gave you however long ago.

|Zach| 06-29-2013 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 9783136)
I will fully admit the differences between my real life and my posts on CP are intertwined to some extent. It's a small sample size, however. Couple that with CP being my first BB experience, I made a few mistakes. Oh well.

The problem with you two, is you've been here longer, have more experience in the Internet anonymity, and still can't shake the insecure feeling of a little geeky kid in the locker room after high school gym class.

I know it's hard to understand this, but I ready know you're smarter than me (in some ways) and I'm more physical than you. I don't need or want to compensate for anything related to some high school social structure. Get over it, sorry for the swirly some guy gave you however long ago.

No I was wrong you aren't trying too hard.


LMAO

Fritz88 06-29-2013 04:19 AM

Can't wait for the season to start.
Posted via Mobile Device

crazycoffey 06-29-2013 04:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fritz88 (Post 9783143)
Can't wait for the season to start.
Posted via Mobile Device

Yeah, no shit

BlackHelicopters 06-29-2013 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fritz88 (Post 9783143)
Can't wait for the season to start.
Posted via Mobile Device

Hurry up season.

rico 06-29-2013 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 9782364)
That's true. Hell, rico had his wife come up with a roast to look cool...

ROFL

I know this is the running joke, but it's seriously funny to me because my wife HATES, HATES, HATES the fact that Chiefsplanet exists. I won't elaborate on the argument(s), but I'm not wrong, of course. :) (I seriously don't know why being on facebook for an extended period of time should be considered more acceptable than being on CP).

I have another one in mind, but probably won't get to it for a day or 2. Have my wedding reception this afternoon, have to recover from hangover tomorrow, have to study for a nursing test that I take at 8a Monday, then of course I have the test to take at 8a. So I'mma be super busy for a while...but I do have one in my head that I'm thinking about doing.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 08:52 AM

tell us more of her hate for this place

women hate anything that lets men act like men in this age of neo-fascist-feminism

mostly she hates it because it gets along fine without women, beyond their tits in the pics forum, which of course is such an insult to those creatures that we would use them like that

burt 06-29-2013 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazycoffey (Post 9782521)
somebody, maybe it was you, told me he had really fat fingers....

that used to be my name here...

Donger 06-29-2013 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783266)
tell us more of her hate for this place

women hate anything that lets men act like men in this age of neo-fascist-feminism

mostly she hates it because it gets along fine without women, beyond their tits in the pics forum, which of course is such an insult to those creatures that we would use them like that

Have another bad date?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 09:36 AM

no, just have keen insight into women and CP

'Hamas' Jenkins 06-29-2013 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9783226)
ROFL

I know this is the running joke, but it's seriously funny to me because my wife HATES, HATES, HATES the fact that Chiefsplanet exists. I won't elaborate on the argument(s), but I'm not wrong, of course. :) (I seriously don't know why being on facebook for an extended period of time should be considered more acceptable than being on CP).

I have another one in mind, but probably won't get to it for a day or 2. Have my wedding reception this afternoon, have to recover from hangover tomorrow, have to study for a nursing test that I take at 8a Monday, then of course I have the test to take at 8a. So I'mma be super busy for a while...but I do have one in my head that I'm thinking about doing.

Shit. Rico's a murse. This is only gonna get worse for him.

Iowanian 06-29-2013 10:13 AM

It's probably comparable if she's telling blow for blow details about how many drops of jizz you shot on her tits when you went ATM.

I just hope she creates an account and posts when she reads your stories. That will be a fun day here.


Quote:

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9783226)
ROFL

I know this is the running joke, but it's seriously funny to me because my wife HATES, HATES, HATES the fact that Chiefsplanet exists. I won't elaborate on the argument(s), but I'm not wrong, of course. :) (I seriously don't know why being on facebook for an extended period of time should be considered more acceptable than being on CP).

I have another one in mind, but probably won't get to it for a day or 2. Have my wedding reception this afternoon, have to recover from hangover tomorrow, have to study for a nursing test that I take at 8a Monday, then of course I have the test to take at 8a. So I'mma be super busy for a while...but I do have one in my head that I'm thinking about doing.


Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 10:14 AM

hi rico's wife

i know you hate this place

too bad

your neo-fascist-feminism ways may have twisted and perverted society at large, but they don't take hold in this place

here men are free to do as they please with zero negative repercussions

you have no say here

no power

you can punish your man for enjoying this place

but know you are attempting to make him less of man by doing so

and if he cows to your whip, he is less of a man

and what kind of woman are you then?

because deep down you will always need us

because NOTHING in this life gets done without a MAN

show me a football forum created by a woman and i'll show you a lame place

now make me a sammich

DaFace 06-29-2013 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783385)
hi rico's wife

i know you hate this place

too bad

your neo-fascist-feminism ways may have twisted and perverted society at large, but they don't take hold in this place

here men are free to do as they please with zero negative repercussions

you have no say here

no power

you can punish your man for enjoying this place

but know you are attempting to make him less of man by doing so

and if he cows to your whip, he is less of a man

and what kind of woman are you then?

because deep down you will always need us

because NOTHING in this life gets done without a MAN

show me a football forum created by a woman and i'll show you a lame place

now make me a sammich

Adopting Hootie's posting style in his absence?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 10:18 AM

just because i don't capitalize words

doesn't make me hootie

loochy 06-29-2013 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783385)
hi rico's wife

i know you hate this place

too bad

your neo-fascist-feminism ways may have twisted and perverted society at large, but they don't take hold in this place

here men are free to do as they please with zero negative repercussions

you have no say here

no power


you can punish your man for enjoying this place

but know you are attempting to make him less of man by doing so

and if he cows to your whip, he is less of a man

and what kind of woman are you then?

because deep down you will always need us

because NOTHING in this life gets done without a MAN

show me a football forum created by a woman and i'll show you a lame place

now make me a sammich

You have no power here

Rico's wife

http://i.qkme.me/3q1n6z.jpg

J Diddy 06-29-2013 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaFace (Post 9783387)
Adopting Hootie's posting style in his absence?

It's the Vagina Manifesto

Frazod 06-29-2013 10:38 AM

Wow, this thread sure lost it's burst.

NTTAWWT LMAO

J Diddy 06-29-2013 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9783421)
Wow, this thread sure lost it's burst.

NTTAWWT LMAO

Well I'll be quite honest after I submitted my roast and was denied access to the OP, I've lost my passion.

crazycoffey 06-29-2013 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burt (Post 9783278)
that used to be my name here...

I know

NewChief 06-29-2013 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9783421)
Wow, this thread sure lost it's burst.

NTTAWWT LMAO

Phobia's fault. :evil:

He banned the MVP.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 9783418)
You have no power here

Rico's wife

http://i.qkme.me/3q1n6z.jpg

****alf StormHO

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783425)
Well I'll be quite honest after I submitted my roast and was denied access to the OP, I've lost my passion.

You and me both.

And my roast was actually good.

Rausch 06-29-2013 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783459)
You and me both.

And my roast was actually good.

THIS is why it's fail.

To have Gochiefs, Memyselfislamicfundamentalist, or Phil, or Frazon roast me it would likely be very close to factual and at the same time funny.

I thought mine was a let down until I saw Dole's. Which was very weak...

Frazod 06-29-2013 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewChief (Post 9783449)
Phobia's fault. :evil:

He banned the MVP.

There's definitely nothing wrong with that.

A day without Hootie is like a day without VD.

Titty Meat 06-29-2013 11:29 AM

Rico post your wifes nudes that will teach her!

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:30 AM

Rico's wife would probably be happier if she had nudes worth sharing with the world. :evil:

J Diddy 06-29-2013 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783459)
You and me both.

And my roast was actually good.

Mine was HOF worthy so there.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783480)
Rico's wife would probably be happier if she had nudes worth sharing with the world. :evil:

I'd be happier if she shared them.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783484)
Mine was HOF worthy so there.

like...reerun hall of fame?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783485)
I'd be happier if she shared them.

http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a1...ool1/rick4.jpg

J Diddy 06-29-2013 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783486)
like...reerun hall of fame?

I don't know Clay, you're the only one that I know of who's ever been inducted.


Are you saying I have a chance, semi-chub?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783490)
I don't know Clay, you're the only one that I know of who's ever been inducted.


Are you saying I have a chance, semi-chub?

"I am rubber you are glue" is a lame comeback.

Everyone knows your roast was pathetic.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783491)
"I am rubber you are glue" is a lame comeback.

Everyone knows your roast was pathetic.

I didn't say that.

I seriously wanted to know if I had shot. Who else to answer that question than the second greatest reerun of all time?

Your list of accolades speak for themselves.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783497)
I didn't say that.

That's exactly what you said.

Don't compare your roast to mine. Mine was a good solid 7. Yours was a 1 at best.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783500)
That's exactly what you said.

Don't compare your roast to mine. Mine was a good solid 7. Yours was a 1 at best.

I agree. It was superior in every way, shape and form. In fact you do everything better than me. You're a better run way model, better writer of gay fiction, way better at stealing someone's videos and adding music tracks. You're better at living wiwth your mother, better at being a nerd, better at being a homosexual (congrats on DOMA btw).

You're just better.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 11:56 AM

Oh, gay jokes about a straight guy? Those are so funny. CrazyCoffey is chuckling hard right now.

SAUTO 06-29-2013 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783513)
, better at being a homosexual

You're just better.

Damn. I didn't know that was possible
Posted via Mobile Device

J Diddy 06-29-2013 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783515)
Oh, gay jokes about a straight guy? Those are so funny. CrazyCoffey is chuckling hard right now.

"Mom, Clays down stairs. He won't come out of the closet"

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/i...wK3trq6E6AJwE_


I don't know how you could be upset. I clearly listed quite a few things I believe that you are better at than me. Oh. You're also great at writing meaningless faux political documents for a website(for no reason) and for manipulating meaningless statistics in an effort to prove some point. You're also great at not really having a point.

Every time I log in and think of Clay I'm all Enrique ****ing Iglesias in my head.

You could be my hero baby.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 9783520)
Damn. I didn't know that was possible
Posted via Mobile Device

You'd be better but with your tiny asian penis no men would be interested.


:evil:

Donger 06-29-2013 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783515)
Oh, gay jokes about a straight guy? Those are so funny. CrazyCoffey is chuckling hard right now.

You're bent (at least a little).

DaFace 06-29-2013 12:08 PM

Thread has lost its burst again.

SAUTO 06-29-2013 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783526)
You'd be better but with your tiny asian penis no men would be interested.


:evil:

I'm pretty hung by Asian standards
Posted via Mobile Device

J Diddy 06-29-2013 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 9783539)
I'm pretty hung by Asian standards
Posted via Mobile Device

Being the tallest midget in the room doesn't make you Yao Ming.

Sassy Squatch 06-29-2013 01:00 PM

Its time to ban someone again.

SAUTO 06-29-2013 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783542)
Being the tallest midget in the room doesn't make you Yao Ming.

Very true.


At least its not an innie
Posted via Mobile Device

J Diddy 06-29-2013 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 9783639)
Very true.


At least its not an innie
Posted via Mobile Device

LMAO

Scissor action cut like a knife.

KC native 06-29-2013 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaFace (Post 9783536)
Thread has lost its burst again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Superturtle (Post 9783611)
Its time to unban someone again.

.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KC native (Post 9783686)
.

I agree unban him, but make his own subforum to where only he can post.

We'll call it the gimp room.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 01:50 PM

thirding motion to unban hootie

J Diddy 06-29-2013 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783711)
thirding motion to unban hootie

No. no. no.

My motion was a nonbinding sarcastic motion. I filibuster.

Frazod 06-29-2013 01:51 PM

LMAO at all the douchy little Hootiephiles crying over their fallen leader.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9783715)
LMAO at all the douchy little Hootiephiles crying over their fallen leader.

I know that you're not including me in this group you fat bald gun toting secretarial cess pool.


:evil:

Frazod 06-29-2013 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783718)
I know that you're not including me in this group you fat bald gun toting secretarial cess pool.


:evil:

No, I bypassed you. :p

El Jefe 06-29-2013 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9783715)
LMAO at all the douchy little Hootiephiles crying over their fallen leader.

Amen. Leave him permabanned.

Sweet Daddy Hate 06-29-2013 02:06 PM

Will there be another manifesto?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 02:07 PM

given the current moderating climate, I sure as shit ain't posting it

Sweet Daddy Hate 06-29-2013 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783733)
given the current moderating climate, I sure as shit ain't posting it

LMAO

Welp, let's see:

Hootie is banned. AGAIN.

And Dane was voted "Douche of the Year" by a rather wide margin.

Yep; I......am the worst poster ever.LMAO

LoneWolf 06-29-2013 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate (Post 9783734)
LMAO

Welp, let's see:

Hootie is banned. AGAIN.

And Dane was voted "Douche of the Year" by a rather wide margin.

Yep; I......am the worst poster ever.LMAO

I do like a self-aware man.

Donger 06-29-2013 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783733)
given the current moderating climate, I sure as shit ain't posting it

Did that degenerate actually write another one?

LMAO

Let me guess:

phobia is a big meanie.

i'm the biggest chiefs fan on CP.

i'm hilarious and entertaining.

But, it would be wise for you not to post it. It's a bannable offense (in case you weren't aware).

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 02:36 PM

no, he's too lazy to write another one

Donger 06-29-2013 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783755)
no, he's too lazy to write another one

Of course. Please give him my best.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 02:40 PM

i don't think i can

we're not supposed to communicate with banned members

don't want to piss off any mods, sorry, being extra cautious

Sweet Daddy Hate 06-29-2013 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783761)
i don't think i can

we're not supposed to communicate with banned members

don't want to piss off any mods, sorry, being extra cautious

LMAO Your papers, please...

Donger 06-29-2013 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783761)
i don't think i can

we're not supposed to communicate with banned members

don't want to piss off any mods, sorry, being extra cautious

I don't believe that is accurate:

If you are banned, communication with the forum is prohibited. This means no videos, pictures, or text is to be posted on your behalf in the open forum by a proxy.

I read that as it is fine with you to communicate with Hootie, but you simply cannot post anything that he says.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 02:58 PM

i don't know

rules change around here all the time

i'm scared to even mention the name ****** anymore

Sweet Daddy Hate 06-29-2013 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783779)
i don't know

rules change around here all the time

i'm scared to even mention the name ****** anymore

That's probably for the best.

cosmo20002 06-29-2013 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9783773)
I don't believe that is accurate:

If you are banned, communication with the forum is prohibited. This means no videos, pictures, or text is to be posted on your behalf in the open forum by a proxy.

I read that as it is fine with you to communicate with Hootie, but you simply cannot post anything that he says.

You typed that out from memory didn't you?

Did they have hall monitors in England when you were kid? I bet you were the most badass hall monitor that place ever saw.

DONGER LOVES RULES

J Diddy 06-29-2013 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweet Daddy Hate (Post 9783732)
Will there be another manifesto?

It's going to be called the Vagina Manifesto

It shall be filled with the whining and gnashing of sandy clitori

J Diddy 06-29-2013 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783733)
given the current moderating climate, I sure as shit ain't posting it

Moderating climate?

Hell how about reality climate?

You thought mine was a 1 to your 7

You on the magic mushrooms baby

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 03:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783800)
Moderating climate?

Hell how about reality climate?

You thought mine was a 1 to your 7

You on the magic mushrooms baby

Start a poll about who had the better roast.

You will lose.

Like, you will get ****ing nuked.

You got the balls?

Sweet Daddy Hate 06-29-2013 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783798)
It's going to be called the Vagina Manifesto

It shall be filled with the whining and gnashing of sandy clitori

LMAO

cosmo20002 06-29-2013 03:23 PM

Who started the "Is Donger a Shit Poster" poll? That kind of backfired.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783801)
Start a poll about who had the better roast.

You will lose.

Like, you will get ****ing nuked.

You got the balls?

I'll have 2 votes. Doesn't matter. Start a poll about who smacks you around like a lil bitch that stole my cookies the most.

Poll be the same result gezelle.

In the voice of whitney houston, " and I, uh I, have always owned you. uh you."

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 03:29 PM

So you admit your roast sucked then?

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cosmo20002 (Post 9783803)
Who started the "Is Donger a Shit Poster" poll? That kind of backfired.

Yeah but J Diddy is significantly less popular than Donger.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783810)
So you admit your roast sucked then?

Nope. I admit that you know how to feed the masses, spent some time and actually performed a decent written piece. That being said, I roasted a guy that I didn't know (who turned out to be a pretty ****ing cool dude so win me) in about 3 minutes and did so in such a fashion that didn't offend horribly.

However, if you wish to start said such poll, go right ahead. I don't think it will turn out favorably for me, however, I ain't sceered.

J Diddy 06-29-2013 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Smith HATER (Post 9783811)
Yeah but J Diddy is significantly less popular than Donger.

Perhaps. However, I am still a beloved member. In fact when I get in disagreements outside the axis of stupid you will find a significant amount of respect being thrown from both parties.

Hell in this very thread milkman defended me.

Hammock Parties 06-29-2013 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Diddy (Post 9783812)
Nope. I admit that you know how to feed the masses, spent some time and actually performed a decent written piece. That being said, I roasted a guy that I didn't know (who turned out to be a pretty ****ing cool dude so win me) in about 3 minutes and did so in such a fashion that didn't offend horribly.

However, if you wish to start said such poll, go right ahead. I don't think it will turn out favorably for me, however, I ain't sceered.

You are scared. That's why you won't start it yourself.


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:08 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.